Ok.

I don’t mean to rant, but seriously, this workout is killing me.

I mean, it’s probably not killing me per se (shh! I may even be getting in shape), but it certainly feels that way currently, as my body tries to tell me repeatedly, in many ways, that I’m too old to abuse it like this.

It’s like a Doozer from Fraggle Rock is tapping away on the inside of my knee cap, constantly clearing his throat as if to say, “You do understand you are not 18 any more?  These joints are no longer brand new, and they don’t bounce back the way you remember.  Just a little reminder!” Tap, tap, tap!  “You should have been more diligent about staying in shape in the first place!” Tippity tap tap tap!

Yesterday it was my hip that felt displaced from the absurd exercise combinations that Shaun T. casually throws into the workouts.  (I’ve decided, in my moments of pure frustration, that he and a bunch of other people with 0% body fat get together in a room, and try to answer the following question: “What’s the most difficult combination of completely unrelated moves that you can put together and I can add to my aptly titled ‘Insanity’ workout?”). Today, the amount of jumping and hopping made my knee throb.  I mean, seriously, have you EVER heard of squat push-ups?  Just an FYI, they aren’t easy.  I’d try to narrow down the absurd moves for you, but at this point in the program, it’s all bananas.

Some of my favs (in no particular order) include:

1.  Power push-ups

2.  Power Jumps (these are SO much fun, Shaun T. is kind enough to bring to our attention that not even the peeps in the video like ’em)

3.  Balance Push Ups (as if the power ones where you’re expected to jump up at the top of each push up weren’t bad enough, he came up with these for the end of the workout when, I’m guessing, most normal people are wondering if they still have full function of their arms).

4.  Floor hops (I don’t even think I am doing them correctly.  I certainly don’t feel my abs working the way Shaun T. implies they should).

As I hobbled around work today (and limped around the neighborhood during our walk this evening) I wondered what the purpose of the first four weeks were.  I mean, I am just as sore now as I was after Day #1.  And in those work outs, you do moves you’ve heard of before (like, just regular ole squats and lunges … fancy that!)  So how can they possibly prepare you for wide floor sprints combined with moving push-ups and squat push ups?  It’s all bananas.

I had a moment today when I was pretty sure I was going to have to sit down (those are not good moments) and at that particular time, Shaun T. made some crazy statement about how today’s workout was probably better than last week, and we should be happy & proud about our progress.  I thought fleetingly of Core Cardio Balance, my 60% workout of last week, and felt a wave of nostalgia.  No, I wanted to say, but didn’t have the energy, I don’t think this week is better than last week.

But… I am hoping that next week is better than this one.