9jan22

Here’s the thing about resolutions — the only person who gives them any power, any weight, is the person making them.

This is what I thought as I lay in bed, so proud of closing my eyes before 9.45p (my designated bedtime) having accomplished all the things I needed to do before bed.

And then, as John and I talked about life and our upcoming week, and how lucky we are to have each other, and how much we love Fellowship of the Ring my eyes – newly filled with eye ointment – popped open and I said “I forgot to blog.”

A thousand things ran through my brain at once and I came to the sad and inevitable conclusion that no, while it did not truly matter if I blogged or not, yes, it actually did matter a great deal to me.  I managed to blog most every day at the beginning of last year and last year’s beginnings were much more bleak than this year.  If I can’t manage to follow my own prescribed discipline and my own rules, then what am I even doing?

So here I am, talking about nothing because today was a lazy day filled with football and spiralized sweet potato and freezing rain and strange television. And even if I’d had a brilliant blog post idea, right now all I want to do is stop squinting through my eye ointment, lie down and go to sleep.

But I did blog and even though it’s nonsense it means something to me.  These words, this blog.  It means something to me.

Xoxo, g

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