Unfortunately, sometimes those dark parts are a little hard to avoid.
My first piece of advice to myself, as I grabbed myself by the metaphorical bootstraps and ordered myself to pick myself up, dust myself off, and tidy myself up, was that any extended time on Facebook reminiscing about past mistakes is time NOT well spent. I gave up Facebook for Lent this year (and for about eight months last year after realizing that I wasted far too much time reading other people’s inner monologues versus listening to my own) and when I finally got back on after Lent ended, it was like an addict faced with a box of their favorite vice.
I began to systematically revisit each part of my life that ended badly, times I behaved badly … you name it, if it was negative and regrets could exist, I found it, and wallowed in it. Clearly, incredible for my mental health.
April is an interesting month for me. Other than the man, who is the most important person in my life, every other man of any significance (past and present, and including my father and brother) has a birthday in April. Not only that, but I have a quirky memory for birthdays, so even if I wanted to forget the dates, I can’t. Hello, bad version of Memory Lane.
I found myself of late full of lethargy, and not very interested in training for the 10 mile run I registered for (a little silly, considering it is two weeks and two days away), blogging, cooking … or doing very much of anything. I think the best word for it = apathy. I wasn’t crying, or overtly depressed. I just didn’t.care.about.anything.
I wanted to write about things, mull things over somehow, but I vowed not to be depressed or overly introspective here. This was about new discoveries, delicious recipes, thoughtful discourse. Not sadness. But it began to feel like a facade, as though my words on my blog weren’t honest anymore, because I was trying so hard to be happy. It felt insincere.
So the truth in a nutshell is this ~ I am most definitely not happy and full of sunshine and light all the time. Some days I am ~ some days I’m bouncing off the walls with excitement about life. But in March and April … usually I’m giving myself lectures as I lie in bed, avoiding the inevitable (aka, getting up and being productive). I don’t know why those months seem the hardest … but they always do.
Last night the man and I spent a looooong time talking (we like to talk, which I think is a good sign that we actually like each other). We committed to the idea of trying to plan vacations in March from now on ~ to try to give me something to look forward to, and also to have a little change of pace to help combat my doldrums. Sidenote: I realize with full clarity the greatness of my man. We talked about a lot of things ~ our schedules, our future, our goals. It was a good talk. It put my mind at ease. It gave me a sense of peace.
And then, for the first time since Easter, I made dinner. We happen to be big fans of breakfast, and often have breakfast as dinner. It didn’t hurt that our landlords gave us farm fresh eggs (in an assortment of colors, which tickled me pink!). So I made something I have been perfecting for a few years. It’s pretty versatile, but always delicious.
Naan Breakfast Bread
What you need:
1 pkg Whole Wheat Naan (each package has two pieces of bread)
1 small pkg Low-Fat Grated Italian Cheese Blend
1 pkg sliced baby bella mushrooms
10 thick asparagus spears
S & P
What to do:
This dish depends on timing. You want everything to come together and be ready at the same time. The following is how it works best for me. My advice ~ read through all the steps, and then go back and start at the beginning. 🙂
Preheat oven to 325.
1. Rinse mushrooms. Add to small saucepan with a generous drizzle of olive oil, several twists of fresh pepper and salt, and a good shake of garlic powder. Cook on medium heat until mushrooms soften.
2. While the mushrooms are reducing, trim bottoms of asparagus (I cut off at least 1 1/2 inches to avoid any stringy-ness) and then cut into bite-size pieces. Lower the heat under the mushrooms, and stir in asparagus.
3. Line a cookie sheet with aluminum foil. Place naan on sheet. Spread about a half tablespoon of butter on each piece, leaving an edge of about 1/2 inch around the outside of the bread. Spread a decent about of cheese on each piece, but leave some cheese for the end. Put the cookie sheet in the oven to melt the cheese.
4. In a small saucepan, heat 2 tbsps canola oil. Cook eggs in oil over medium heat. Use a spoon to scoop the oil over the yolks to cook them, but leave the insides warm and runny.
5. Pull naan bread from oven when cheese is mostly melted. Spoon mushrooms and asparagus onto cheese. Put one egg on each piece of bread. Sprinkle a little more cheese. Put back in oven for another 1-2 minutes (I use this time to clean up the kitchen, because I hate a dirty kitchen with used plates and pans everywhere).
6. Serve. Voila, dinner!
The man and I have contemplated other ingredients, and I recently changed the cheese we use, because we had been using cheddar but it was just too oily. Our next incarnation will include salsa, because the man thinks the dish needs the acidity of the tomatoes to cut the heaviness. He may be right. 🙂 Either way, Bon Appetit!