Today is my first foray into the pain medication my new neurologist prescribed for migraines.  My last headache was a little less two weeks ago and I knew that yesterday was it’s next scheduled arrival.

I tried to play it cool.  Paid close attention to what I ate.  Drank a ton of water.  Managed to *not* eat peanut butter out of the jar.  (Sounds weird, but that’s a true triumph for me).  I could feel the signs in my body – the tightness in my left shoulder, radiating up my neck and around my skull.  The sensitivity of my skin, the discomfort in my jaw.  I felt the acid rise in my stomach, churning and rolling. But the headache pain never came.

I took my preventative pill before bed.  I prayed for sleep.

I took my Invisalign out around 3am.  I clench my jaw something fierce because of those mouth pieces, and that clenching just feeds into the headache.  That still wasn’t there but I could feel it lurking beneath the surface, waiting, waiting ….

When my alarm went off for yoga this morning I knew in every fiber of my body that I didn’t want to go.  I was afraid – afraid of the pain I knew was coming.  Afraid of the headache that would take residence and not leave for days.  I rolled over and waited.  I waited but it didn’t come.

I went to class.

There were moments – like waves lapping the shore – when the pain peaked through.  As I flowed and sweat and wobbled my way through balancing postures and vinyasas.  It was there.  I felt a small relief.  Because I’d known.  All the signs were pointing that way.

So when hubs and I got home, I popped my first pain pill.  I’m absolutely terrified.  I am afraid of the side effects and I’m afraid it won’t work.  I’m afraid the pain will come and it will rage longer and harder than normal, just to let me know that it’s in control, not me.  I can feel the tension building in my shoulder, twisting in on itself.  I try to breath and relax but relief doesn’t come.

I hope the pill helps.

Xox, g