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my mother, my friend
To all mothers everywhere, I hope you were spoiled today by those who love you. I am not a mother, just a puppy-momma, but I love my little girl more than anything. I also know that being a puppy-momma is hard work, so I can imagine that motherhood is both the most rewarding and the most difficult thing any woman ever does.
I’d just like to raise my glass and my heart to my own mother for giving me life, instilling values and morals, a love for reading and writing and education, travel, strength and finding the positive in life. I am not half the woman my mother is ~ she inspires me every day. And I would also like to say thank you to my ‘other’ mother-my aunt- who has been my friend and an ‘other’ mother when I needed one.
Sometimes, as children, we are unaware that our parents are people, who have interests and quirks and passions and sadness outside of being a parent. We only know them as our parents, the people who make us eat veggies, and go to bed on time. But also our idol, infallible; a superhero. I’d like to believe that I see that part of my mother entwined with the woman I got to know as I grew up. But I also think that my mother the person is one of the most amazing, thoughtful, good-spirited, articulate, educated, compassionate, talented, beautiful people I have ever encountered, and anyone who has had a chance to know her is better for it. She is absolutely my real hero.
soundtrack of my life
Y’know when you read those articles in magazines where a celebrity is asked random questions? And of course, you find their answers interesting, but more selfishly, you think about what you’d say? (Or, it’s just me!). Either way, EW has a column called ‘Soundtrack of my Life,’ and I really want to share my answers.
That, and music makes me think of road trips, and we have one today. Heading north and west, toward the man’s hometown for Mother’s Day. It’s very relaxing being up in the mountains. Of course, I miss certain commodities of being near a big city (Starbucks, anyone?) ~ but a few days decompressing is good for anyone.
Using my most recent EW magazine (Entertainment Weekly ~ I’ve probably had a subscription for 10 years ~ it’s my utter favorite), here is the “Soundtrack of my Life.”
1. The first song I was obsessed with: This is a tough one. I’m what you might call a ‘repeater’ ~ meaning I can listen to something over and over and over again. I remember being obsessed with the British “Chess” soundtrack when I was young ~ and “Cats” even more so (…Memories, all alone in the moonlight, I can smile at the old days, I was beautiful then … oh, Elaine Paige, you are my hero). In my teens, during a blizzard that stranded people in their homes for a few days, I remember listening to “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?” from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack on repeat for hours while writing “the next great American novel” (haha). I am not sure how much stock to put into that, as I think I was also obsessed with Jeremy Jordan at the time, and “Two Princes” by Spin Doctors. (Does everything from the early 90’s make me want to cringe?)
2. The album that reminds me of my first love: I have two. “Rocky Horror Picture Show”soundtrack (this probably deserves a blog post all by itself) and Phish’s double CD live album. My high school boyfriend loved Phish, and we listened to “Bouncing ‘Round the Room” a lot. Every time I hear that song, I think of my old house in Wyo and my high school boyfriend in 1997. Craziness.
3. My favorite soundtrack album: While a tough call, I say that “Footloose” (the real one, not the re-make) narrowly edges out “Dirty Dancing” by half of a quarter of a fraction of a nose. At the end of my senior year, my girlfriends and I drove around, feeling like ‘queens of the world’ listening to ‘Holding Out for a Hero.” It was like the soundtrack of my high school graduation. Every song rocks.
4. A song I love that people might not expect: “The Real Slim Shady.” I am a huge Eminem fan. His second album, “The Marshal Mathers LP” ~ I’m pretty sure that every song is ridic. And by “pretty sure” ~ I mean, the man is an utter genius. ** Additionally, I absolutely love a song called “Love is Dead” by Mad Sin ~ a rockabilly group I was introduced to a little after I graduated from college. Yes. I went through a punk phase.
5. My favorite song to play air guitar: How can a person not say “November Rain”? That moment, when Slash is ripping it outside a tiny little chapel in the middle of nowhere? We all wanted to be him. Well, anyone of my generation, that is. True story.
6. My favorite break-up song: “That I Would Be Good,” by Alanis Morrisette. She reigned supreme for all aspects of break-ups, and always seems to sing in a minor key, making the music sad and haunting. And “There’s No Need to Argue” by the Cranberries. I get chills just thinking about how a person can wallow in sadness listening to that song.
7. My favorite hip-hop song: “Gold Digger.” Kanye. Or … “Hey Ya,” Outkast. I have a ton of memories with Gold Digger as the soundtrack, but the memories of blasting Outkast with my new roomie in State College and making up our own lyrics while decorating our apartment? Priceless. Even now, when I hear “Hey Ya” and the line “You know we’re not happy here” I finish it up with “….at 211 Amblewood Way” and think of Sonia and her convertible. Great memories.
8. My favorite love song: “Something” by the Beatles. It’s utterly gorgeous in every way. George Harrison = genius.
9. My favorite 12 a.m. jukebox song: This is an easy one. “Don’t Stop Believing.” I was managing a restaurant and a banquet booked a karaoke machine. When all the customers were gone, and work was done, all the employees grabbed a beer and we blasted Journey while hanging on the outside patio. One of my favorite memories from that job.
10. My go-to karaoke songs: Oh boy. Top 3: ‘If I Could Turn Back Time’ because I do a mean Cher, ‘Goodbye Earl’ because I adore the Dixie Chicks and always will, and 3. ‘Killin Me Softly’ … because I’m trapped in a world where the Fugees are still making music (or, covering a Roberta Flack song, as in this case!).
11. The band I’m currently obsessed with: Twenty-four hours ago, I would 100% have said Mumford & Sons (the man and I even looked into go to the Rockness Music Festival in Loch Ness ~ Sidenote: It’s cray-cray expensive to fly to Scotland in June!). But right now this very minute? I cannot stop listening to Florence + the Machine. The woman is ah-may-zing. Seriously. Shake It Out.
12. The song that makes me think of my love: “Walking In Memphis.” When we first moved in together, we started introducing each other to television shows we liked. The man was a big fan of America’s Got Talent, and he showed me clips of one of the contestants singing “Walking In Memphis.” It sort of became our song ~ and every time it comes on, I get butterflies in my stomach and immediately look for him with a goofy grin on my face. Love it.
may 2012 #10on10
Every 10th of the month, I belated remember to participate in twitter’s #10on10. In theory, you post a picture every hour on the hour for 10 hours as you progress through the day.
It rarely works out for me. I have clusters of photos and long stretches of absences ~ and I usually tap out before I’ve hit ten pics.
Today, I remembered all on my own ~ before we hit PM hours no less (!!!) and I got all ten photos in. I’m going to share for your (?) enjoyment.
Welcome to my 10th of May, 2012.
#1 – Green trees, blue skies – thank you Thursday!
#2 – My WT? face reading work email.
#3- My workday beverage staples.
#4 – My Italian word for the day – triciclo!
#5 – Tickets to this event = purchased! Super excited!
#6 – In. Love.
#7 – For my #team green runners ~ in remembrance of Sunday.
#8 – The postcard from NYC’s Schillers that inspired the man and my grading system for our wine journal (for @iwasneverhere).
#9 – Watching a #bigbangtheory marathon on TBS following season 5’s finale. It’s one of our fav shows.
#10 – Three years ago, the man and I saw this photo. We loved it, but didn’t purchase it. And then, we never saw it again. Two months ago, we tracked it down and I drove to South Philly to buy it. It was the finishing touch of our home ‘renovations.’ Every day I look at it in complete satisfaction ~ with the reminder of how far we’ve come since that day three years ago, when we passed it up.
in the words of buddah
“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”
~ Buddah
I absolutely adore my yoga class on Tuesdays. For me, it is the perfect blend of tough physical poses and really great ideas. I was completely stoked today because some of the more advanced poses and holds were a little easier for me. Although I still wasn’t doing grasshopper, and probably won’t be anytime soon.
I thought the quote (above) that began class was really interesting and provocative. Don’t believe anything for any other reason than you have found it logical, and reasonable, and that it is beneficial to the greater good. When you really start to meditate on it, that’s fairly powerful.
Think how many things you believe because that is what you were taught, that is what your religion has ingrained in you ~ that is what someone wiser has advised you to believe. It’s amazing how many things I believe because of these reasons. Religion, parenting and elders teach us morals, values ~ things that make up the essence of who we are.
How disconcerting to be told to reconsider all these things, and choose to believe only in things we ourselves have tested and analyzed. It throws quite a wrench in religion, not to mention other things. For me, the toughest idea is not to believe that which is written in books. That nearly goes against everything I know. My family is very academic ~ words written on paper are knowledge. How does one dispute that?
On the other hand, what the Buddah is asking us all to do is think for ourselves. Make informed decisions based on observed information rather than hearsay. That cannot be bad advise. It’s the same principle that holds true in a court of law ~ unless a person experienced or witnessed something first hand, the information is inadmissible. It’s hearsay. Which is an attempt to eliminate the distortion that occurs as information is translated from one fallible source to the next. Like the game ‘telephone.’
It also plays in with last week ~ in order to be confident in who you are as a person, you should also be confident in what you believe. Having conviction, believing something inherently ~even if, or possibly especially if it is not the commonly accepted idea ~ gives a person power. It means, from my point of view, that one knows who they are, and isn’t afraid to stand up for oneself.
There are certain things I feel very strongly about. Even when I am told it is foolish. Even when people disagree. Even when a person is scornful, and doubts my conviction. I know, within my very being, that nothing can change how I feel. That belief gives me strength. And the things I believe in most vehemently, are ideas and thoughts I have come to just as Buddah advised ~ by personal observation and analysis. By understanding that my thoughts and beliefs are reasonable, and beneficial to the greater good. Not everyone agrees with me. But that doesn’t deter me. To me, that signifies a true belief that defines my character.
Initially, I struggled with the mental aspect of class tonight. But the more I think on it, the more powerful it becomes. And I love anything that gives me the seed of contemplation. It helps keep life in perspective.
a little surprise
Yesterday afternoon I received a little surprise gift!
And today, because the day dawned gray, rainy and much colder than my weather app forecast at bedtime last night(!), I decided to break out the new goods.
In general, I can be one of those people who receive nice bath products and then allow them to gather dust in my closet ‘saving’ them for a special occasion. I am SO SO glad I did not do that with these. Instead, I spent the whole day enjoying how great I smelled!
The whole regime began with the lemon-sage body scrub. After reading the directions (yes, I’m one of those people), I spent the specified five minutes scrubbing down prior to jumping in the shower. I have never done that before ~ and it makes a HUGE difference! I followed up my skin polish with lemon-sage body wash, and then, the “cherry on the top”, if you will (aaaaand, I will!), the vanilla+bergamot body butter. Oh. My. Goodness. You know how sometimes moisturizer, despite all the promises on the label, just fails to impress? As in, it’s greasy, it doesn’t spread well … it feels heavy and thick on your skin?
Not. This. Stuff. Seriously. One of the best moisturizers I have ever used. And I’m a bit of a product snob, because I’m a little vain about my skin. AND. To top it all off? I smelled like an elegant vanilla sugar cookie. I can’t even begin to find the words to articulate what a great bath experience.
And on a work day!
It helped keep my spirits up during the incredibly gloomy day.
Even better, Lucy was an absolute peach all day, so there was very little clean up when I got home. Whoo Hoo!!!! It made me get a little experimental with dinner. I’d been craving polenta all day, so I tried to use what we had in the fridge and make a polenta lasagna.
It ended up being a little more like a Polenta Mac & Cheese. But, it was yummy.
What I Used:
1 pkg organic polenta, sliced thin
2 large portobello caps, sliced
1 pkg Italian grated cheese
1/4c. Colby Jack grated cheese
1/4c. heavy cream (optional)
1/4c. dry white wine
S & P
Garlic Powder
EVOO
What I did:
Preheat oven to 350.
1. In a saucepan, combine sliced portobello, a healthy pour of EVOO, salt, pepper and garlic salt to taste. Cook until mushrooms soften.
2. In a greased glass casserole dish, line bottom with a layer of polenta. Sprinkle half the package of Italian cheese. Layer 3/4 of the mushrooms evenly on top of cheese.
3. Use remaining polenta to create a second layer on top of the mushrooms. Sprinkle the remaining half of the cheese, and finish off with the remaining mushrooms, and the 1/4c Colby Jack (I used it because I ran out of Italian cheese, so it’s really all about improvising!)
4. Whisk together the cream and wine and drizzle evenly across the top (I did this to prevent it from drying up and burning, which happened to a dish the man & I made a few weeks ago … I didn’t want to waste good mushrooms by allowing them to shrivel up!).
5. Pop in the oven for about 20 minutes (it should be bubbling!) and then allow to cool for at least five. Enjoy your polenta mac & cheese with a nice glass of vino, and (as I did) some grilled asparagus!
Now, for some HGTV this gloomy Wednesday night. I just love Property Brothers!
unconquered/undefeated
Happy May Day!
As you may have noticed, Tuesdays = yoga for me, so it also usually means revisiting class and really chewing on the ideas.
Today, we ‘meditated’ on the idea of divinity being within all of us, and how we (in the collective sense of humanity) pull away from this, and are timid about or stifle our greatness. It made me immediately think of Nelson Mandela, so I googled the quote that the man and I have on our bedroom wall. Much to my surprise, the following is inaccurately attributed to Mandela ~
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
~ Marianne Williamson in A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles
I’m sure everyone has been guilty of self-deprecation, or undermining one’s own worth. What is important to think about ~ for me at least ~ is that if I don’t give myself credit where credit is due, how can I expect others to respect me, and acknowledge my strengths and talents?
Nelson Mandela kept the following poem (written on a scrap of paper) in his prison cell for the 27 years he was imprisoned on Robben Island. While these are also not his words, they are more than worth sharing. I have had a copy of this poem taped to the inside of my daily planner for the past few years ~ and I should probably read it more often, and remind myself not to shrink who I am.
Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
draft day
For those of you who are not avid football fans, today is the first round of the 2012 NFL Draft. I’ll be quite frank, I’m a very big football fan, but I don’t get all wrapped up in the draft.
However, the man and I thought we would “just turn it on for a minute” this evening as we sat down to enjoy some sushi … and we’re at the 12th pick and we haven’t changed the channel once.
The last time I watched the draft this intensely, Mario Williams went first to the Texans, and Matt Leinart dropped to tenth, following (amongst others) Vince Young and Reggie Bush.
As I sit curled up on our couch, I think about how sometimes, it’s really nice to be grateful for little things in the moment. Here I am, with the man I love & my bestest friend in the world, our little peanut Lucy Lou smelling of banana chocolate chip muffins snoring between us, watching the draft. It’s an amazing amalgamation of all the things we love. Obviously, neither of our teams have picked yet (the man keeps saying coyly … “The Giants are the 32nd pick. Wanna know why? Wanna know why?” Long pause. Sly look in my direction. And then, at the same time, in completely different tones, we both say “Because the Giants won the Super Bowl.” ). But it’s football. In April. And life is alright.
guilty pleasures
Ever woken up and felt – for no apparent reason – that you could not keep your eyes open?
I felt that way this morning.
Little Lucy Lou was very patient with her Mama. She slept in (after a 5am bathroom break) and was a little peanut the whole morning. Sometimes, I think she understands a lot more than I could possibly comprehend. She was snuggly and kept checking in on me as I did work ~ as though she completely understood that I was not feeling 100%.
In honor of feeling like a beaten up dishrag, I thought I’d cheer myself up by thinking about my favorite guilty pleasures. As in, things I would indulge in if I was curled up with napping Lucy making little snuffles in her sleep.
1. Dancing with the Stars (if I didn’t watch it addictively every Monday and Tuesday ~ although I have watched the dances multiple times in the past). I have a completely pure and unadulterated love for dance. I think it’s amazing ~ I think dancers are the most beautiful people on earth. I toy with the idea of taking classes all the time. Perhaps one day I will be able to fit it in.
2. Magnum, P.I. Winston loaned me all eight seasons on DVD, and Lucy and I put them on in the mornings when I’m blow-drying my hair and getting ready for work. I’m pretty sure Lucy loves Magnum, too ~ I know I find the show so relaxing. I love Tom Selleck’s voice overs, the playful-ness of the show, and that it harkens back to what I think of as a simpler time (aka, my youth). Actually, I love pretty much everything with Tom Selleck, including Three Men and a Baby, and Three Men and a Little Lady.
3. Any movie with Kevin Costner (caveat: WaterWorld). I love Field of Dreams, For Love of the Game, The Postman, Dances with the Wolves, Tin Cup … I even loved him in The Upside of Anger, which was, as I recall, a very depressing movie.
4. Watching an entire season of a TV series. I love, love, love when I can just turn off my brain and get completely involved in something else. I’ll be honest ~ the show doesn’t even have to be all that good. I just love watching one episode after another (this is a tag-along to #2).
It doesn’t sound like a lot ~ but just thinking about this stuff makes me feel a little better. Of course, sleep would be awesome, too. But reality says work must be done.
lucky girl
Tonight, the man and I had omelets for dinner.
It was my idea ~ but the man made the omelets. He’s an expert omelet maker (also, I am terrible). I sautéed some sliced button mushrooms and asparagus tips in a little EVOO, with salt, pepper and garlic powder for the inner omelet, and the man topped each one with shredded cheese (an Italian blend), some salsa (Chi Chi’s medium heat chunky because it’s my fav) and a generous dollop of sour cream.
Delish. And totally on point after a full day and a very challenging yoga class.
I’ve been enjoying yoga again, but missed the past two weeks (Lucy had a vet appt and … well, I was feeling a little ‘under the weather’ last Tuesday). I knew, after my eight miles yesterday, that I would be in need of some stretching and some mental relaxation ~ so I made sure that yoga was a priority.
(Don’t worry, Lucy and I went on a nice walk this morning at her favorite spot, and she ran around like a very happy, very crazy dog for nearly 40 minutes).
As I said to John when I pulled into the driveway this evening: Eight miles, I felt fine. Yoga? Kicked my butt.
During class, we meditated on the idea of qualified actions. I cannot tell a lie ~ I completely qualify my actions. So it was a good exercise in reflection, and in contemplation of how to modify this bad habit. (I have a sinking suspicion that it will be much harder to do than to say).
Essentially, it dove-tailed a little with class a few weeks ago. Which works for me, because life is all about working every day toward being a better version, a more aware version of oneself. A little reminding goes a long way.
I happen to really love the way in which the yogi who teaches the class I attend thinks. Because, in the end, it’s her thought process that motivates class. She has the balance I enjoy ~ ideas and thoughts to chew on, and truly challenging poses. Today, as I dripped sweat onto the mat, I felt the relief that comes with yoga, with quieting the mind. And I contemplated the idea of qualified actions. We all have reasons that we don’t do something, that we can’t do something … instead of just focusing on doing something, however great or small. So we qualify. But the only way to genuinely do something is to just live in the action.
Trust me, I’m pretty sure it’s as hard as it sounds. Aaaaand, I’m pretty sure I’m not going to have mastered the idea any time soon. I’m in the ‘just scraping the surface’ phase.
As for right now, I’m cuddled on the couch with my deliciously snuggly puppy and my practically perfect man. All in all, I’m a lucky girl. Part of today translated to me as it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey. And I have some seriously incredibly travel buddies. Nothing feels so bad when I remember that.
to-do lists, and other everyday things
This morning dawned gray and rainy, and after a little bit of a sleep-in, we got up and got to business. Yesterday was jam-packed ~ and pretty awesome. But it left us only today to get everything done.
We went on a ten-mile hike yesterday morning, down through the beautiful greenery of Valley Green and Fairmount Park. Lucy was in doggie-heaven, running here and there, lapping up water from the streams, chasing birds and squirrels, going ‘cracker dog’ in the sandy patches of the trail. By the end, her long pink tongue lolled from the side of her mouth, and when we got back to the truck, she curled up in a ball in the back seat, completely content. If that had been her only treat, it would have been a good Lucy day.
However, we spent part of the afternoon with her doggie boyfriend, and his parents and various friends baking cookies. Extremely fun, and once again, Lucy had a ball.
In the evening, we went to dinner with my oldest friend from high school, and her man. After which, we sipped adult beverages around our fire pit, while Lucy explored the yard (read: tried to dig lots of holes in the ground while her dad wasn’t watching). Eventually, the rain drove us inside, and after our friends were safely on their way back to the city, we watched “Horrible Bosses” and napped on the couch. Hilarious movie, btw ~ & I completely love Jason Bateman.
Today, we decided to be incredibly proactive, and we prepped lunches for the entire week. Mostly, we are trying to be strict with our budget, because we have a couple plans that need financing, so while doing an endless amount of laundry, we made a pitcher of iced coffee for the mornings, hard-boiled eggs for mid-morning snacks and made a base salad to have with slices of pork tenderloin. Because I loved the apricot and pistachio salad from Easter, I made a version of that and some homemade salad dressing.
I’m very much looking forward to lunch this week!
What I used:
1 cup baby spinach (because that’s what I had left in my fridge)
1/2 bag of butter lettuce and red lettuce
1/3 c dried apricots, sliced thinly
1/3 cup shelled and chopped pistachios
fresh parsley leaves, torn
fresh mint leaves, torn
snipped chives
fresh dill
*** I bought small packages of each of the herbs, and used about half each, except for the dill, which I used sparingly.
For the dressing (from Good Housekeeping)
In a jar that seals tightly, combine:
1/3 c EVOO
Finely minced peel of 1 lemon
2 tbsp lemon juice (I find that about 1 tbsp comes from each half of the lemon)
2 tbsp white balsamic vinegar
1/4 tsp salt
1/8 tsp pepper
Shake well, and allow to sit for 2 hours, or as long as three days.
And now, it’s Sunday Night and time for “Game of Thrones.” Goodnight!
D5 Creation