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comfort
Today was one of those days when if I’d had the option of staying in bed, I might have taken it. Sometime on New Year’s Eve I started to feel a little off — really hot and then really cold and very tired (although the tired part is sort of par for the course for me).
Yesterday, the congestion began.
And this morning — full-on death.
I’m not a good sick person. I shuffle around and make low noises that — really, don’t do anything, but I guess help anyone near me to know that I don’t.feel.well. Sadly, the man has also been under the weather and someone (ahem, Lucy) ate the remainder of the wonderful Italian nut roll that was wrapped in aluminum foil on the counter.
I did not know it was possible to do a grocery shop at Walgreens, but that’s what it came down to today. Dressed in the comfiest of comfy clothing, we somehow managed to get NyQuil and Alka Seltzer Cold & Flu, soup, milk, orange juice, saltines and Airborne gummy chews. Because after the whirlwind of the holidays, we realized that we had eggs in our fridge … and that was it. So we had some scrambled eggs for breakfast but knew we’d have to leave our den of disease at some point.
I think it’s kind of funny to begin the year in such a state. Things can only get better from here, right? But it’s also funny to think of all the resolutions, all the ‘changes’ I wanted to begin at the start of 2015 — but when you’re sick, none of that matters. Hot food matters. Comfortable clothing matters. Blankets and TV and glasses matter. It makes me smile.
At some point I am going to be motivated enough to begin my smoothie regime again. I will feel energetic enough to climb in the car and drive over to the gym to swim laps. I will feel awake enough to finish cleaning out the drawers in the kitchen and putting together a pile of clothing for donation.
That day — it’s not today. Today, John and I will be slurping creamy tomato basil soup and falling asleep in a NyQuil coma before 10pm. But maybe that day will be tomorrow ….
resolutions
The beginning of the year feels mildly like a Monday — a great excuse to begin again, start new traditions. I’ve found — in my limited time on this Earth — that the day you begin something doesn’t really matter. It’s whether or not you believe in what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, and if you feel fully committed to making a change.
It is much easier said than done.
That being said — here are some of my lofty (and not so loftly) goals for this newest year. Happy 2015 World!
1. I would like to learn to speak Spanish. I was given Rosetta stone for my birthday, and I would really like to dedicate myself to working through the levels and being able to communicate in a second language.
2. I would like to be disciplined enough to sit down on a regular basis, and play my keyboard. John bought it for me last Christmas, and while I’ve worked my way through some of the early pages of my beginner’s piano lessons (from freshman year of college! eeek!) I have absolutely not spent enough time playing. May I confess here that plopping down on the couch after driving home from work is a much easier option? It really is.
3. I would like to make a more consistent effort in regards to my diet and how it affects my health and my functionality in life. Yes, I love food — but I really need to be more steady in my routine diet choices. Zucchini pasta anyone? (I love it!).
4. I would like to unplug more. This past month of mild social media separation meant I read more books, I wrote more things, I cooked more meals, I was much more on-point at work …. I mean, the benefits are basically endless. I’d like to keep that up.
5. I’d like to begin each day by saying “Today is going to be a good day.” And then live it to the fullest, enjoy each moment, and rejoice in the blessings that fill my life.
I think I’ve given myself a plate-full, so I am going to decide that at the moment, those five things will occupy my time and require my full attention.
2014 began as a rocky climb up hill — but somewhere along the way, it got good. I like how John and I adapted to the changes we faced (two restaurants for me, a new job for him, etc) and made the best decisions we could in regards to our future and our stability. I learned a lot of lessons in 2014 that I hope I carry with me, and that help shape the next adventure.
Cheers to new beginnings, clean slates, and amazing people with whom to jump off cliffs.
xoxo, g
leg warmers
Sometimes you find yourself heading in one direction, and then all of a sudden, everything changes and you’re heading in a totally new way.
That’s happened to me more than once in my life.
Today, it happened in the most wonderful way.
I was going to start this blog by saying that there’s never a right or a wrong to any story. There are only different perspectives. And I had a lot to say about that. About how a person always thinks of themselves as the hero of the story — but sometimes, someone else doesn’t see it the same way.
And then, as I sat waiting for the login for this page to load, while the man and Lucy wandered around the yard in the cold, drizzly darkness, someone pounded on our front door. And I got up, thinking I’d accidentally locked John out. But instead, there sat two packages propped next to our door.
Let me pause here, and rewind a little bit.
Last year, for the first time, we celebrated Christmas at home — just the two of us. Some of it was wonderful — waking up and exchanging gifts, gluttonously eating out at restaurants we love — some of it we need to re-think (movies on Christmas Day sounds good … but isn’t). Anyway, who knows when that will happen again — but we decided we liked doing our own exchange just us two. So this year we exchanged our pressies before heading to Mansfield for Christmas with the Family #1. Unfortunately, one of my presents hadn’t arrived at the time. But we didn’t worry about that.
It arrived tonight.
As I unwrapped the cardboard, my brain spun with speculation. I had no idea what this final present was. None. Based on the shape, I randomly mentioned to John that there were some things I’d like to frame in the future. He rolled his eyes. He’d heard it before.
And then, the last fold fell away, and my breath caught in my throat, and like I said, everything changed.
I’ve owned and carried around with me (rolled tightly in a rubber-banded spiral) a photograph poster from the Metropolitan Museum of Art for …. oh, let’s just say many years. It’s one of my most favorite images, a picture in my head that symbolized realized dreams.
I found out tonight, as I held a framed copy in shaking hands, my vision blurred with tears, that it’s called “Leg Warmers.” I’d never known that.
And in that moment, all the angst and unhappiness and introspection that had filled me to the brim for the past 48 hours dissipated. And life -suddenly- again felt full of hope and possibility.
I won’t always receive my most favorite image on my doorstep on bad days. I know there will be challenging times when I have to find that feeling, that motivation, all on my own. But today, I am grateful beyond explanation that my husband listens to me and actually hears me. He makes my dreams come true.
this & that
On December 1st, I took all social media off my phone. I’d been thinking about doing it for a while, but it felt so … permanent? … that I kept putting it off. I mean, how was I going to waste an inordinate amount of time on a daily basis without social media?
It seemed unfathomable to be unable to scroll through my Facebook feed on an hourly basis.
And the first few days were weird. Not going to lie about that. For no apparent reason I would grab my phone at work, just to realize that Facebook and Instagram were no longer there.
And even in the few days that I’ve been social media free (on my phone — let’s not get too crazy too fast!) I’ve been amazed at how productive and efficient I am. And how many things I’ve done instead of wasting time scrolling through various feeds. I’ve read books (really good ones, that make me glad I’m reading instead of scrolling), and instead of just thinking about blogging, I’ve actually blogged.
Mostly about nothing — but that’s sort of beside the point.
I had a friend in college who introduced me to a book about reconnecting with your inner artist (for the life of me, I cannot remember the title but when I find it, I will come back and edit this post!). The one thing I remember vividly (among ‘self dates to the arts’ and other suggestions I actually loved) was the idea of writing three full pages in a journal every night without stopping. It wasn’t even about what you wrote but the act of writing every night — just getting your thoughts on a piece of paper.
Stephen King says something sort of similar in his book On Writing. Which is an incredible book, by the way. He basically says — if you want to write, you need to write every day. No excuses.. Every day.
That’s sort of my M.O. with this blog right now. Just getting my thoughts on paper on a regular basis — my thoughts and ideas and contemplations. They aren’t incredibly original or particularly creative. But I love to write — it feels like a creative release. And someday (ah dreams) I would love to write something significant enough to be published. But writing is a skill — like pitching or catching or batting. You can have talent, but if you don’t practice and hone your skills, you do yourself a disservice.
Right now my beautiful puppy has rested her head on my right arm — which would be completely adorable, were I not typing. White Christmas is on the TV. I am snuggled in bed in my new favorite sweatshirt, my eyelids drooping with sleep.
And I’m also rambling on my blog.
But, more to the point, I AM rambling on my blog. Which is better than spending 45 minutes scrolling and ‘liking.’ So I can’t complain.
xo
tis the season
This morning, as the man and I carefully unwrapped ornaments and hung them thoughtfully on our Charlie Brown tree, I reminisced about how our lives have grown in the time we’ve been together.
Our first year, everything was a merge of ‘my’ stuff and ‘his’ stuff. And slowly, year by year, things have become ours, ornaments with history and meaning — commemorating special times we’ve shared. A golden leaf from Jackson Hole, a horse-drawn carriage from Williamsburg, a snow globe in a stocking from Hilton Head. I love that warm fuzzy feeling when the paper peels back to reveal what had been previously tucked safely away. The first ornament we hung this year was a beautiful boxer with a red and white scarf, given to us by our great friends (it looks surprisingly like Lucy!). John asked her where she wanted to hang it and she replied with a quizzical look and a suspicious sniff of the ornament. It was adorable. She’s still not one hundred percent sure she understands why there’s a live tree in the living room. But she seems okay with it.
It’s always sort of interesting to contemplate the holidays as you gear up for them — how celebrations change and how they stay they same, how you personally feel about the time of year. This December feels uncharacteristically mellow — I ordered our Christmas cards the first week of November and they are all sitting neatly stacked in ‘domestic’ and ‘air mail’ piles by the front door. We have essentially completed all of our shopping, our tree is up, and we aren’t having a party this year ….. So that’s that, right? It feels a little bizarre — anti climactic and strangely un-Christmas-y.
I have led a somewhat charmed life to this point — in that there was not a lot of drama during Thanksgiving or Christmas growing up. When my brother and I were young, we spent Christmas Eve with our Italian relatives (Italian-American — my dad’s side) and there was always a table heaping with food (the seven fish my friends) and I barely ate any of it — and we all ran around and had wild conspiracies about Santa Claus and it was glorious. And Christmas day was spent at home, opening presents and then eating a huge British Christmas lunch (my favorite) and then lounging around in sweatpants watching ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ while messing around with all our new swag.
But as you grow up, and become part of another person’s family and holiday celebrations, you begin to realize that things morph — I think it has a lot to do with children, actually — and even if things had stayed the same, they would inevitably also be very different.
On our very first date, John and I wandered down the main street of Manayunk, grabbing drinks at bars that we would otherwise never have gone into (in an effort to avoid running into anyone we knew …. it’s a long story). We ended up sitting outside at a tiny bar at one end of the strip, telling each other how much we loved Christmas, why and millions of stories of minutiae that we remembered with glowing detail. It was June then, and I remember hoping my beer would never end, and that I could sit and talk with this wonderful man forever.
Luckily, that wish came true. And the first year we lived together, every inch of our apartment was decorated for Christmas — ornaments and garland and twinkly lights festooned every corner of every room.
So this year, with our understated decorations, and no party on the agenda for the first time in four years, it feels quiet, and subtle … and somewhat out of character.
I’m glad this year is going to be low-key, and I’m glad that as of the seventh of December, we’re pretty prepared for the holidays. I just hope this isn’t the beginning of the end of the magic. Because to me, this as always the most magical and beautiful time of year. And to imagine that feeling fading — well, that just about breaks my heart.
introspection
Sometimes, I look at photos of myself on social media, and I’m a little amazed. That might sound obnoxious — just gimme a minute.
I look normal.
I mean, my life, the photos, what I’m doing — it all looks normal.
And in a lot of ways, it is. But …. In some ways, it’s not.
It’s such a weird balance — and I’m not very good at it. When am I just me –when do I have MS? When should that be the most important thing … when should it be NOT important at all?
I mean, in general, I tend to believe it shouldn’t be important at all. And then I have a day like today, when my hands puff up like … well, like puff pastry. And I wonder if I didn’t have MS, would my hands be swollen? Would they feel different? Am I making it all up in my head because I’m a hypochondriac?
It’s stressful.
I already overthought things — you know, before the MS. And I already worried deeply — clearly, also pre- multiple sclerosis. So then when you throw something in the mix as … serious? intense? incurable? … as MS, clearly, things aren’t going to get better. Maintain the status quo? Win. But that possibility? Very slim.
I was looking at a photo from a PSU game a few weeks ago — I’m smiling and posing — looking like every year I’ve ever tailgated in my life. But looking at the photo, I knew that my legs were bad that day — I had Lydia with me every step of the way. I remembered being frustrated in the stands, my vision so dark I could barely make out details.
And while of course the things I deal with are frustrating to me — how could they not be? — it also makes me consider the sadness of so many people, dealing with things that far outweigh the challenges I hurdle on a daily basis.
Life presents us with challenges. We’d all love to believe that we care deeply about the trials and tribulations of others — we’re so evolved and aware. And on some level, we are. But on another level, it’s very easy to say things, to make gestures and promise fairy tales. And then head home to our warm beds and our worry free life. “I’m so sad for such and such a situation” but at the same time, pour a glass of scotch and watch TV shows recorded on our DVR.
It’s a challenging thing to authentically reconcile.
I guess I’m not really getting at much. Except that maybe photos — like appearances — can be deceiving. Behind every smile — underneath every smirk and wink — there’s the underbelly of life, the truth of every day existence. We can all pretend to be whatever we want to be on Facebook or Instagram. And maybe that’s a good thing — who knows. But everyone’s existence is colored by their own and others’ opinions. Such is life. Nothing — seriously, nothing — is as pretty and pure as a photo.
But sometimes it’s nice to pretend it is.
Winter is coming
It’s crazy to think it’s December. This year has flown by.
There have been so many moments when my fingers were just tapping with things to say — and instead of writing I wasted time on something less worthwhile. It’s funny to think about that — about how you change as a person and all of a sudden stop prioritizing parts of who you are due to shear laziness.
Blogs are such interesting things. So many are full of interesting things — but they are all a snapshot into a personal life — a human just living (whether that living is big or small). These posts of mine vary in intensity, but every one is personal — a girl/woman living near Philadelphia who cooks sometimes, works in the restaurant biz and has MS. Those things define me — both by choice and circumstance. I read old blog posts and I am re-introduced to a person I no longer know.
I am full to the brim of things to say — opinions and lessons learned plus all the other stuff that makes up life. I don’t claim that anyone else is interested. But blogging is like yelling into a mountain range — it seems so quiet at first (as though the noise you’d just made hadn’t happened at all) … And then your voice comes back to you — a little different than before but still recognizable.
thanksgiving
Over a month ago, I spent some time at a great retreat in Austin Texas. Along with teaching me that (basically) I don’t eat the way I should at all, the retreat also focused on mental and spiritual health. And I found those sessions and that information so incredibly enriching.
To save this blog from being REALLY long, let me just say that OHI really focused on the power of gratitude. And having just completed a seven day gratitude ‘challenge’ on Facebook prior to arriving, I was completely on that bandwagon. Thinking about the things we are grateful for on a daily basis — and articulating those things –is incredibly uplifting and powerful.
So in honor of the things I enumerated on Facebook back in September — here’s a re-posting. Wishing everyone a beautiful Thanksgiving surrounded by those you love.
Sept 20, 2014
Nominated by my wonderful friend Angie — — thank you for thinking of me! Three things I am grateful for today (and then the following six!)
1 — Most obviously I am grateful for my husband. He got more than he bargained for when he married me but his is my strength, my laughter and my best friend.
2 — I am grateful for my Lucy. To have an animal look at you with the love that fills her big brown eyes — takes your breath away. It is truly a gift….
3- I am grateful for my family. The last two years of MS and cancer (not both me!) have shown the true strength and integrity of my parents, my wonderful second mother (my mum’s twin) and my insanely amazing brother.
When you’ve had the journey I’ve had recently — you definitely see with crystal clarity the things for which you are grateful. Thanks for the nom Ange!
September 21, 2014
1 — I am grateful for ceiling fans. They just make everything better — especially sleep!
2 — I am grateful for football. I just love it, and I’m not going to use this as a place for anything other than positive stuff right now. (Editorial note: Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson were dominating NFL news at the time). I have been so lucky to have so many great memories throughout my life that have to do with football — PSU, Steelers, PR Rams & Fedko, Womissing Saturday day games & away games on Friday nights — the Flemington Falcons — football has always been a big part of my life. And Sunday is the best day for a shout out.
3– I am grateful for Starbucks. And on that subject, I am grateful for Ted — for introducing me to the soy chai latte in college — it has been my drink for over 10 years & I love it. I am grateful to all my baristas who know me, my hubs, my drinks and my football teams. They always brighten my day. I love Starbucks.
September 22, 2014
Day Tre —
I am grateful for —
1 — All the failed relationships and friendships I have had to this point in my life. Those failures taught me about myself, my strengths and weaknesses and the kinds of people I know to be true friends and in the case of my husband, my partner.
2 — On that subject, here’s to ALL the mistakes I have learned from throughout the years — as my dad once said, if there was hard way in which to learn something, I found it. Maybe I just liked knowing how everything worked from the inside out — needless to say, those mistakes have helped me figure myself out, and I’m grateful for that.
3 — I am grateful for Aman and Les, the guys who work the floor I park on in my garage. They make every day better with their smiles, the knowledge that my car is safe and protected and the friendly way in which they handle even the most stressful of parking garage situations. Five years in, and i couldn’t imagine parking anywhere else. No matter how bad my day might have been — they are there, smiling, asking about Lucy & John and just generally being good humans.
September 23, 2014
Fourth Day of Gratefulness — the Work Edition
1 — I am grateful for my boss. He took a chance on me and believed in me and supported me & what I was doing when other people might have been telling him that it was crazy to give me the responsibility he gave me. And when my whole world changed he gave me flexibility to pursue my health, the time to do it, and many other resources on which a price can never be put.
2 — I am grateful for my co-workers, and especially my two ‘partners.’ It is a great feeling to get to work in an industry you love, with people who are fun to be around — honest, decent people who care as much as you do about the success of what is being done. People you survived the trenches with — who have your back and you have theirs.
3 — I am grateful for my Aunt & Uncle — it was through them I learned about the art of hospitality, the love of food and the great industry that I have found a home in. Sitting beside an indoor pool at one of my uncle’s hotels in the UK at the tender age of 8 or 9, he told me with a laugh that I had rich taste (as I sat noshing on delectably buttery smoked salmon & caviar) and should marry a rich man. Well, Uncle T, I did you one better. I’m doin’ it myself — and I learned my fundamentals from you.
September 24, 2014
Cinco!
I am grateful —
1 — for the small moments in life — being half awake in the grayness of the morning and hearing my puppy’s snuffles and cuddling up with my hubs … the cool autumn breeze blowing leaves in the late afternoon sunlight … the woman in the elevator who likes my dress … the crackling of a good fire pit … things that create the depth of life.
2 — for my time in Wyomissing. We moved so much throughout my youth, that I went to two elementary schools, two middle schools and two high schools. But just being at Wyo for 2 years has impacted my life in such a positive way, even sixteen years later. I’m grateful so much for that. Makes me feel like I did actually come from somewhere.
3 — for contact lenses. I can’t imagine what it must have feel like for people with vision like mine prior to glasses, but contacts were a huge improvement for me. Maybe lasik one day ….
September 25, 2014
Grateful Day #6
1 — I am grateful for diversity. Yeah, sometimes people who are vastly different from ourselves can prove to be infuriating. But minus the idiots from Philly (editorial note: this was written at the time when some real geniuses thought it would be fun to beat up a gay couple … basically in center city) and others who commit just unspeakable crimes — doesn’t being different add to the spice of life? Doesn’t it sometimes help us see things from an entirely new viewpoint? I like to think so.
2 — I am grateful for my faith. It’s mine, and it’s personal and when things feel dark and when things feel light, I always feel as though there is a reassuring hand on my shoulder keeping me steady.
3 — I am sincerely grateful for sleep. I know it’s a necessity of life — but I relish it. I love slipping into cool clean sheets and snuggling under soft blankets, close to the ones I love. It’s a haven of peacefulness that comes every night, and I am supremely grateful for that.
September 26, 2014
I want to preface this by saying thank you to Angie again, because sometimes, the things we are grateful for become the things we take for granted. And this exercise has reminded me that even in the tough times, life is a phenomenal adventure filled to the brim with wonder.
On this final day of FB status updates, I am grateful for …
1 — Yoga. It has helped me climb from a place of physical desperation to a place of acceptance. Maybe I’ll never teach yoga, or be anything close to physically proficient. But it has reminded me, through this new part of my journey, that even though some things have been taken away — and I often mourn those things more than I should — some things have not.
2 — Humility and self-awareness. I am a perfectly imperfect human being. I’ve made a load of mistakes, I’ve inadvertently (and not-so-inadvertently) hurt people. But I’d also like to believe I’ve lifted some people up, passed along the gifts that have been given to me throughout my life. I’ve learned that being humble is a vastly preferable alternative to being bombastically egocentric. Both personally, and in those I spend my time with.
3 — Passion. I spent the early years of my life pursing a passion, and I may not have found a career in it, but nothing will ever lift up my soul quite the way belting out a good song does. Transcendent, if I’m being passionate about it.
OHI moments
So, it’s been a few weeks since I finished my week-long stay at OHI Austin.
And despite my original desire to revert completely back to all my old habits and beliefs — that stuff gets into your head!
Okay, so I wasn’t completely set on forgetting all that I’d learned. But throughout the week I was there, it was such a roller coaster of emotion and informational input — that by the end my brain was fried and I found deep comfort in the idea that life could and would go on just as I’d been living it before checking in to room 207.
Let’s rewind for a minute.
A few months ago, my boss spent a week at a place called Optimum Health Institute (OHI) in San Diego, California. He came back refreshed and inspired — albeit with clear opinions about certain aspects of the program — and he felt very strongly that I should look into spending some time there myself. I googled it. I was intrigued but in a distant sort of way — oh, it looks good for those who have money to burn, bur for someone like myself, where every penny counts? More like a faraway dream.
And then circumstances unfolded — the man and I booked a trip to Austin Texas to visit my brother in his newly purchased home in his newly inhabited city — and all of a sudden, I was booked for a week at OHI’s Austin campus. And before I knew it, Sunday Oct 19th rolled around and it was 4pm, and my husband and brother were waving goodbye, and I was there. Alone.
OHI was so much more than I anticipated. Yes, I’d googled it, and yes, I’d skimmed through some menus, and read some bold print — but I didn’t really know what I was getting into. Over the course of five and half full days, I learned an absurd amount about my digestive system, organs in my body, the nutritional value of food and the power of the mind. And I made some incredible friends.
The campus was beautiful and the room (where I spent a lot of time … juicing and raw vegan food wears a person out!) was very comfy. On Sunday night we had a small orientation, but it was an early night, and I (being the anti-social monkey that I can be) retreated to my room and spent a chunk of time in tears, wondering what I’d signed myself up for, before falling into an uneasy sleep.
On Monday morning we were walked through the program. I recognized in the other first timers some of the same trepidation and unease that I felt within myself. Do what? Seriously? These people have to be out of their minds.
I had a tough time with some of it — buying into their philosophies, their love of wheatgrass (and its ultra superhuman healing powers …), their thoughts on food, colonics/enemas, etc. It was so much information, and a total change of thought process — so much new stuff all at once, and so intense. I went through waves of acceptance and then vehement denial. I knew that I had someone at the touch of a phone to be support — but sometimes I wasn’t looking for support of the program. Sometimes I was looking for support of the exact opposite — that living my life, eating decadent restaurant food and drinking sumptuous heady wines was okay. It wouldn’t kill me. And after a couple of days at OHI, I was pretty sure that their whole message was that if I followed their plan, and gave up some much of what I loved, I would somehow be healed of my worst MS symptoms. And I had a problem with that, too.
But here I am, several weeks later, and so much of what I learned is still lingering in the forefront of my mind. Could I eat terrible food? Sure. But unfortunately, now I am armed with so much knowledge, it makes it hard to do that to myself.
Ignorance really is bliss.
I’m not ready to jump on a raw vegan bandwagon — too many things come to mind that I just could.not give up — at least, not all at once, cold turkey.
But I also felt that way two years ago, when my boss’s wife gave me all sorts of guidance about food, and I realized that as healthy as I thought I was being, I really had.no.idea. And since then, green smoothies and green juice, and eating a vegetable-based diet have become (mostly) our norm.
So despite all my skepticism, here I am, finally buying into the fact that some of that OHI mumbo jumbo was actually excellent information and I should apply it. Just not all at once. That’s just — well, insane.
change in the weather
Y’know that scene in Mary Poppins — when the wind changes? And then all of a sudden, life changes? I feel that way about the first true cold snap in the fall.
Now, to be fair, I missed the first one — I was lounging by a pool in Austin Texas, trying to summon the strength to — well, do anything — following a three-day juice fast. Er, cleanse. Detox? (Sorry, terminology. Gets me every time.) But this evening, the cool seemed to descend as the sun sank in the sky, and I shivered –legitimately — when Lucy and I ambled around the yard. And it knew it was real. Mmmm…. I love it.
I’ve been attempting to sit and write all week — but my journey home on Sunday kicked my butt (who knew Philadelphia was so popular a destination from Austin TX, that one cancelled flight could throw and entire day into chaos? … Oh, right, there is only one flight from Austin to Philadelphia … that would explain it!) And then returning to work didn’t help with the fatigue. And taking care of Lucy solo — while always a joy, because she is a joy — can also be somewhat exhausting. So here I am, Thursday night, just sitting down to clickety clack on the keyboard. And all that’s coming out are rambles. Haha!
I spent last week in a truly incredible place — also completely surreal and outside of my previous scope of reality — and it has had such an impact, that it has begun to influence nearly every decision I make. Especially in terms of food. Which is tough.
I have a journal that I kept — notes from classes and thoughts jotted down in incomplete sentences. But my brain is so loosey goosey right now, I think I would do a huge disservice to the program I attended if I tried in any way to write about it right now.
Instead, I think I’m going to curl up under some soft blankies with my puppy, listen to her soft snuffles, and fall asleep about ten minutes into whichever movie I choose to pop into the BluRay. And then tomorrow, there will be no more sleeps left until the man gets home, and life will be right again.
D5 Creation