It’s been a weird month.

This morning, a Monday, I got up, put on the same type of clothing I always put on (workout gear) and began the day.  Even though husband has been laid up and living in his office for the past week.  Even though there was nothing to do, nowhere to go.  Even though I was feeling adrift.

And now, as I sit on the couch, sipping my chai as snow softly drifts to the ground, I feel at peace.  Life isn’t easy.  Life can be pretty unfair and difficult and destabilizing.  I think I front-loaded a lot of my trauma — even MS doesn’t feel bad every day all day.  But maybe it all has a little more to do with awareness than anything else.  Being present, having the ability to realize that life *can* happen to me, or I can live.  It’s up to me.

I am always tired.  True.  But not so tired I can’t live.  And there’s maybe a little more planning and thought that goes into my travel, my movements through the world.  But I get to do those things with husby and for that, I am eternally grateful.  I get to do those things, full stop.  That is a blessing.

Life is about learning and growing.  And doing it the best we all can within the world we create for ourselves.  I think I’m doing my best.  I think I’m learning and growing and finding peace in my own truths, my own choices.

Xoxo, g