Choice.

There’s an argument that we all control our destiny through the choices we make.  And another that everything is pre-ordained, inevitable.

I think I’m a little bit of both schools.  I like to believe that everything in my life comes down to the choices I make.  John and I often talk about Father Sanderbeck (a priest at my father’s high school) and his words of wisdom.  I grew up with stories of Father Sanderbeck, and John was introduced to him when he met my Dad.  Father Sanderbeck used to say (among other, wise things) that you never make a bad decision; you make the best decision you could with the information you had.  Sometimes that means when you (inevitably) learn new information, your previous decision can seem … ill advised.

But then again, it wouldn’t seem ill-advised unless you’d possessed the information that you DID NOT have at the time you made the decision.  So …. there you go.  Father Sanderbeck — the Dao of the House of Simone.

Anyway, other times I find it comforting to think I actually have zero control over my fate and that what was meant to happen will happen and there’s nothing I can do about it.  Not having responsibility can feel wildly freeing.

Life though— life likes to keep me guessing.  Like today, when I got a phone call about another job … and had to once again go through the painful process of explaining why I am unable to consider the offer.  It’s like life wants to make sure I really, truly understand.  Like the old adage that if you understand something, you can teach it/define it/explain it.

Life likes to make me define it.  I have to laugh (otherwise I might cry and that’s really no fun).

I do — mostly — like to think we all have choices.  Choices about how we feel, how we respond, how we choose to frame our lives.  I could be really bummed out that our take-out tonight was completely wrong.  Like — every single item was in some way incorrect.  But that then leads to anger and disappointment and anxiety and stress.  Instead I chose to focus on the good stuff — that it all tasted great even though it was wrong, we’d been wildly overcharged, and there was no course of action to rectify it.

Instead of being irritated that our Hello Fresh delivery was missing a recipe, I thought, Well, at least the recipe exists on the app and it’s less paper.  

Instead of wondering why in God’s name the last few movies we’ve watched have been so effing depressing, I thought Well, at least I’ve now seen all the X-Men movies. (I’m not 100% sure why that’s a good thing, but let’s go with it).

I could continue, but maybe by now my point has been made.  Anyway, it wasn’t the best day … or was it?  I guess it’s up to me to decide.

Xox, g