The thing about being in constant, acute pain over a long period of time is that you lose all concept of reality.  And then, when the pain begins to recede your body basically collapses from fatigue; from the sustained effort of constantly fighting and managing the unending agony.

I know that I need to see a doctor about these headaches.  I know it, but just contemplating it exhausts me to the point of tears.  After the absolute song and dance of my latest tele-medicine appointment, and the even more discouraging news and diagnosis’ (if you can call them that if even the doctor isn’t really sure) ….   Anyway, the prospect of starting another health journey is both excruciating and heartbreaking for me.

Doesn’t mean I won’t do it.  Just means I get a little more sad every time I do.

I’m hoping today is the last day of pain.  I’m hoping that tonight I sleep.  I’m hoping a lot of things.

Wish me luck.

Xox, g