Nine weeks ago today, I decided to stop drinking.

I didn’t necessarily think I was an alcoholic with a destructive addiction.  But I did think that maybe, I wasn’t my best self when I was drinking alcohol.  And maybe I drank too often and when I did, too much.  And maybe I needed to get that under control.

Y’know how in life, you hear certain things, and you don’t hear other things?  And the things that you hear are usually the things that ring true for you, the things you can get behind and believe?  Well, way back in 2016 a man came to speak to the upper management of the company I worked for.  He talked to us about culture, and creating a positive environment.  He talked about a lot of things I can speak about in theory.  But one thing he said — the thing that stuck with me and I have encorporated into my life — was a concept about habit.

Most people believe that it takes 21 days to create a new habit, or break a ‘bad’ one.  This man said no, 21 wasn’t the lucky number.  That in order to truly create new patterns and new thought behavior, you needed to commit to something for 66 days.  Now, to be fair, I poo-poo’ed a lot of what he said, because I thought that at the time, we didn’t need to be having seminars about culture and vision statements — we needed to tighten up systems and control our cash flow more effectively.  But that’s neither here nor there.

I put his theory of 66 days to the test when I decided to start riding the stationary bike that had — for several months — been collecting dust in our spare room.  I began riding every day on March 1, 2016.  And today, November 3, 2019, I still ride the bike most days.  Because those 66 days DID create a habit.  So, I’m a believer.  And I put that concept to work every time I want to change something in my life.  I commit for 66 days.

To be honest, I should have waited until Wednesday to write this.  On Wednesday it will be 66 days since I stopped drinking.  But the change really begins to be noticeable around the 50-55 day mark.  It’s almost as though your whole body, your whole brain, kinda gives into this new ‘normal’ and it stops being an effort, and it stops being strange, and it just becomes who you are.

I really like being sober.  And sometimes, it isn’t easy.  When people think you aren’t honoring a situation or occasion because you are not raising a glass in a toast.  When you realize that you don’t know what to do with your friends because all you’ve ever done is socially drink.  When you ponder what you will do on vacation when all the guidebooks talk about is drinking.  When you become truly concerned that all your friendships will change … or fade away.  Just because you don’t drink alcohol anymore.  It’s grounding. But … still, I really like being sober.

I like being clear-headed.  I like sleeping well.  I like having energy (always a challenge with MS).  I like not worrying that I said or did something offensive or stupid or just … ill-advised.  I like being able to drive home at the end of the night.

I like most things about sobriety.  But culturally, socially, it’s hard.  As each day goes by, it gets easier to handle.  I feel more confident.  I own it more.  I realize that I could probably drink again and have a lot more control … but do I want to?

It’s an interesting question.

xox, g