Friendship is a weird thing.

It’s been on my mind recently — I’ve reconnected with some old friends and been transported back to different times in my life, when I was a different person.  And I have marveled that in fact, I have some lovely friends.  People who have done extraordinary things with their lives, accomplished amazing feats.  Are the epitome of joy and wonder and beauty.

And it has sort of made me reflect on all sorts of people who drifted in and out of my life.

Friendship changes as you age.  As I have become more comfortable in my skin, and feel more secure in who I am — I don’t completely love having ‘friends’ who seem to think less of me than I think of myself.  And weeding those people out, making those decisions — it’s really hard.  There could be a possibility that I’m a terrible friend, which is why I look around and I only have a few good relationships.  But … maybe I just feel less of a need to surround myself with people …. Thoughts ….

I have to spend every second of every day with myself, and I don’t know that it’s all that healthy to have friendships with people who don’t respect me, respect my life choices, or respect my spaces.

I can say without hesitation that I have a handful of people in my life who are just really good eggs.  I couldn’t say a bad word about them if I tried (and I have zero desire to try).  I feel blessed to have them in my life, to share stories and memories with them from time to time.  And I have friends who are more like … habits?  People who are in my life because of circumstance more than choice.  It’s hard when you realize that — when something occurs and all of a sudden, things seem more clear than they’d ever seemed before.

Like I said.  Friendship is a weird thing.