I tend to find time to share my thoughts when I’m feeling good, and positive and strong.  I’m feeling none of those things today, but in an effort to share my MS journey, I thought it would be fair to share a day like today.

Last night was my third injection and while in certain ways it’s getting … well, easier? … the dosage is also getting larger, and therefore, unlucky for me, the side effects are getting stronger.

Today I’m tired, and discouraged … and oddly, overwhelmingly sad.  Anyone who has struggled with depression will understand the feeling of … well, almost helplessness in controlling your own emotions.  Every part of my body hurts ~ like the pain of a good workout, but not good … like the flu has invaded every muscle, every joint … every sensitive nerve ending in my skin.  I’m hot, I’m cold, my jaw aches, my head aches, my eyes burn.

It has taken incredible effort to do normal, everyday things.  Getting up, making smoothies, taking Lucy out … showering, dressing.  All of it feels earth-shatteringly difficult and tiring.

That’s the thing ~ the exhaustion is all-consuming.  Even with proper sleep, and diet and exercise … I am constantly in a state of nearly debilitating fatigue.  It’s enough to make a person depressed even without all the other fun elements of MS.

So that’s today for you.