I was thinking – as I moved my reading light from my reading chair (which Lucy has taken ownership of … permanently) to our love seat so I can curl up and do my reading (both for yoga and because reading is one of my favorite things) – I really love my life.

I wondered – is that a strange thing to feel?  Or even think?  Do people often reflect on how much they love their lives?  I almost felt guilty thinking it, let along feeling it, as though we as humans should be perpetually disappointed by life.

I don’t know why i feel that way.  It certainly wasn’t modeled by my parents who seemed to enjoy their lives very much.  Or Jennie – who snuck out to gamble all night, returning home in time to cook David and I pancakes for breakfast before school.  But somehow, the impression that life should be dissatisfying seems to pervade our collective existence – it is a running theme in books and movies and television shows.  A constant quest for happiness, or whatever happiness is.  An escape from the reality of … mediocrity.

John and I decided a long time ago that we wanted to just enjoy our lives.  And so … we do.  We enjoy each other and we enjoy the things we surround ourselves with and what we pursue in our ‘free’ time (a much more accurate word for John than me, as all my time is technically ‘free’).  We don’t live a grand or exciting life like my brother – summiting mountains and ice climbing on a Wednesday in the French alps.  But we love the life we live – the world we’ve created.  I love lighting candles every night, practicing yoga, my Peloton, listening to music on our crazy sound system, $5 Tuesdays at Movie Tavern … all the things, even on the days when I have a huge poison ivy rash across the middle of my forehead.

Anyway, it sat with me and I thought it was worth writing down.  This idea that maybe it’s okay to just … be content in our existence.  Be content in the life that we’ve had the autonomy to create.  I know that not all humans have that luxury – even in a country as rich as the United States.  But we do, and shouldn’t we be allowed to relax into that?  To feel it, and be grateful for it, and grateful for our time here, pursuing the things we love?

Xox, g