At dinner this evening I stated to husband that I was no longer going to make any New Years Eve resolutions.  I’m not sure where it came from but it came tumbling out of my mouth confidently and assuredly.  Somewhere, during the course of this day – this random, not totally inconsequential day— I finally knew.

I knew that I needed until February to understand what my goals for the year were.  Too much happens in December — my birthday, lots of other birthdays (Jesus, for the believers!).  The anniversary of the loss of my mother.  Too many things to have any additional time to contemplate changes for the new year.  If I wanted to do that in a timely fashion, I’d have to make the decisions in October or November.  And I certainly couldn’t make those kinds of new year, new you decisions months in advance.  Too much changes.

I decided – and then articulated – that I needed January to get my bearings for the new year.  I needed January to decompress and get back into a rhythm.  Get a feeling for where the next twelve months were leading me.  I decided that January will serve as my ‘pause’ moving forward.  January will be the moment when I catch my breath.

And so, as February dawns and we get into 2022 in earnest, I can more clearly see what I want to focus on, and what my goals are.  Some things I try to do every year – read more, watch less TV (this resolution has taken years to make an impact, but I do actually read more and watch much less TV so I guess… worth it? 🤷🏻‍♀️).  I usually hope I meditate more and practice the piano.  Still working on consistency there.

But February brings with it clarity.  It allows me to take stock of how far I’ve come, and how far I still have to go.

I’m not saying that husby and I are going to start Cross Fit tomorrow (or ever really; husby is deeply skeptical).  And I’m not saying that my grand idea of a letter writing campaign will ever take flight.  But I do want to lift more instead of only doing cardio.  And I want to give my friendships the focus and attention and time they deserve.  Life is short, and I want the people who matter to me to know they matter.

Anyway.  Small goals.  We’ll see how I’m feeling at the start of March.

Xox, g