It’s been a minute.

To me, the last time I blogged feels a lifetime ago.  As though so much has changed that those days are nearly unrecognizable.  But that’s life … that’s sort of how everything seems to be.  Hard to remember, as though so much living has occurred between then and now.  

A few days ago the mask mandate was lifted by way of the CDC releasing a statement about the efficacy (or lack thereof) for vaccinated people. It didn’t take much more than that for businesses to change policies, for gyms and studios and restaurants to re-open their doors, their tables.

Whatever my politics may be, it *does* feel like a relief. I don’t want the world to necessarily “return to normal” because what does that even mean in the wake of Covid-19, George Floyd and the civil reckoning that has become part of American culture? It shouldn’t be dismissed or forgotten.  We’ve learned things- whether we like it or not.  We’ve had to face things, whether it’s comfortable or not.  And it isn’t over — it can’t be over.  Even if there is a strong contingency of this country who would prefer to turn a blind eye.  So no, I don’t want to “return to normal.”

But I would like to move through life without a mask, without the fear that every touch, every breath, could kill me.  There is a relief in that, albeit small.

My second vaccine shot wiped me out – took the breath right out of my lungs.  But it’s been over two weeks since then, so I am now vaccinated and able to move around again in the company of strangers.

I know that not all people with autoimmune diseases feel the way I feel.  They are angry at the change, worried for their health.  I understand that.  But I can’t live my life by anyone else’s rules but my own.  I have to feel comfortable in my own skin.  I don’t like being in-authentic.  So I feel how I feel.  And I am glad to be able to practice yoga in a studio without a mask.

And that’s where I am today.  On the eve of a beach trip and fully vaccinated.  Looking forward to Black Widow and F9; The Fast Saga.  Falling asleep with candles lit for my mother and my brother-in-law, husband doing research and Thor: Ragnarok playing in the background.  Lucy snurfling in her bed, dreaming of squirrels and rabbits and sniffs in the long grass of spring.

Xox, g