John always says that he needs all four seasons.

And while I might not love the heavy, oppressive heat of the summer — it might cripple me and cause staggering physical ailments for me — I can say, I am mostly in complete agreement with him.

How can you appreciate the gifts of your life if you have never suffered?  How can you see the sunshine in all her glory if you have never weathered a storm?

My homework — to re-write my story — has taken on a life of its own.  It has challenged me to re-frame so many parts of my life.  I think about why I believe the things I believe, what the roots are.  It can be raw and uncomfortable to realize that sometimes, I don’t know.

I heard once that so much of what each of us believe can be attributed to “some guy said it somewhere?”.  When I first heard that, I balked.  I thought – I have beliefs that are rooted in my choices.  But when I thought about it on a macro level, I realized that so many of us believe things and can’t actually trace it to the root, myself included.  It’s just something we’ve always believed.  It’s seemingly universally accepted.

It’s hard to break those ties.  It’s hard to say, “Well, maybe what I believed isn’t actually an accurate reflection of me … perhaps it puts faith in institutions that I  inherently don’t agree with ….”.  It’s hard to shake off society and opinions and peer pressure.  It’s hard to say — No.

Anyway.  I love winter.  I love spring and I especially love autumn.  But could I love the exquisiteness of all those seasons if I also didn’t know summer?

Probably not.

Xox, g