The thing about reading philosophy is it begets reading philosophy.

As a result of daily emails I receive I decided it was time to invest in Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations.  And let me tell you, beginning something like Meditations (which  is largely Stoic in philosophical nature) is very … interesting … when you are simultaneously immersed in a book about Buddhist philosophy.

Today’s chapters began the extensive examination of essence and the Buddhist concept of emptiness.  I have been inspired to follow this up with something that delves into Hindu philosophy.  Mr. Wright briefly touched on their attitude toward emptiness and it seems to resonate more with me than Buddhism. I guess the quest for enlightenment on any level never actually ends … because there is no true ending.

Sometimes, I look in the mirror and I don’t fully recognize myself.  Some of this I attribute to cutting all my hair off about five months ago.  Some of it stems from my quest for self evolvement.  Is this woman staring back at me the same  human who believed, at the tender age of eighteen, that one day, she would be as famous as Brad Pitt, the toast of Hollywood?  It feels unlikely, and yet … they are one in the same.

When I stopped working four years ago I had no idea what I was going to do.  I felt lost and confused.  Bereft for an identity I tied – too extensively – with what I did rather than who I was.  It’s been a strange and funny journey since then — weird and wild and painfully sad among a myriad of other emotions.

Reading philosophy — studying it and working it around in my brain — has given me something back that I thought was lost.  And I can’t articulate it, and maybe that’s okay.  Maybe that’s exactly what philosophy is teaching me.  That just being is okay.  That nothing really has to make sense … and what does that even mean anyway?

Xox, g