Lemme be real for a minute.

Life for me is like an amusement park ride.  There’s a lot of waiting, anticipation, anxiety and then there are highs and lows and everything happening in a rush … and then waiting again.

I don’t know if it’s the snow, or COVID, or just February.  But lines are blurred and up feels down and down feels sideways and I’m just bouncing from wall to wall to ceiling to wall and then floating out the window.

I’m sad and I’m angry and I’m resigned and I feel trapped and overwhelmed by the vastness of it.  I’m searching for comfort and finding none.  I’m yearning for contentment but everything feels off its axis.  I am drowning, I am floating … I am above and below and somewhere in between.  I am lost.

That’s my brain, that’s my stream of conscious thought.

I keep grasping for an anchor and coming up empty-handed.

Listen to Miley Cyrus’ Plastic Hearts.  It is my soul right now.

Xox, g