I try to write before the end of the day because by now, I’m tired and all I want to do is go to bed.  But I made this promise to myself, this New Year’s Resolution.  And I’m not ready to give up just yet.

So here I am.

Last night we wrapped our evening at 8pm because I was just emerging from headache hell and I couldn’t keep my eyes open.  I slept for nearly eleven hours.  My body was wiped.

This morning we lounged around the house, reading books, listening to vinyl, talking about life and philosophy and the “Big Questions.”  I feel immense gratitude that J+I have these kinds of conversations regularly because if he wasn’t here to talk to, I don’t know what I’d do.  I thought, while we talked, what great seeds of ideas it all was for a blog post.  But now, tonight, as I sit here, my mind is blank.

Being ‘sick’ is exhausting.  It’s unrelenting.  It sneaks up on you when you let your guard down.  It’s tiring — which is a completely different thing than being exhausting.  It’s … it’s just really hard.  And it never stops.  And that wears a person down.

Sometimes I’m at a loss as to how to rest enough to feel recuperated.

But I’m here and I’m typing and I’m editing sentences as I go.  So, there’s something in that.  I didn’t miss another day because I got distracted by lethargy.

Xox, g