It’s an interesting phenomenon, leaving social media after spending so many years affected by its ebb and flow, its plethora of messages and guidance on how to be the best version of myself (according – oftentimes – to  people I don’t know). Social media created an entire world where some people have bigger voices that reach farther, that carry more heft.  It is a world, an environment, that has a different set of rules than other, more personal arenas.   It empowers some while silencing others; it manipulates reality with algorithms and targeted marketing.  It is a sub-culture of reality.  It is simultaneously trivial and powerful beyond measure.

The weight of the civil rights movement in America in mid-2020 felt heavier every time I scrolled Instagram, every time I was ‘reprimanded’ for not doing it right, for being too privileged, too white.  There were lessons in that that I could not have learned any other way while being confined to my home in my safe, affluent, white corner of the world.  Uncomfortable, essential lessons about perspective, about power, about motivation and greed.

But other movements, other ‘lessons’ felt less significant and yet equally powerful.  And that is the rub of social media.  Did I post the right photo of Dr. King and say the right thing about his messages (particularly as a middle class white woman … ).  Did I acknowledge whatever is happening in the world with due respect?  Did I state my position and take a  side?

Should I have to?

I didn’t think about it until my meditation this morning (a special meditation by  Chelsea Jackson Roberts on Peloton in honor of MLK Day yesterday).  But instead of spending time agonizing over being ‘correct’ all I did yesterday was acknowledge and think about Dr. King and his influence and impact on civil rights in America.  And that was freeing.

I won’t lie, I miss Instagram.  I miss my friends and I miss posting pictures about the mundane details of my life.  Even if no one actually cares.  Haha!  I miss documenting my Peloton and Sculpt journeys.  I miss having conversations and messaging with people every day.

But I don’t miss the peer pressure.  I don’t miss the angst and the controversy.  I don’t miss the comparisons and the judgement.

Will I go back?  Probably.  When?  I’m not sure.  I have a date marked that I want to get to and after that I’ll reevaluate.  But it is funny how the further away from something you get, the less powerful its pull to return.

Xox, g