I was inspired recently to revisit a book I began reading a few years ago and never finished.  I bought it because Gwyneth Paltrow wrote the forward (and I love Gwyneth Paltrow) and the book was supposedly about weight loss.  Something I was struggling with at the time.

It isn’t about weight loss at all.  I mean, it is.  But it isn’t.  And I will confess that I never finished it.  But the ideas within it I carry with me every day.  Because the book is about … um, enlightenment.  Sort of.  I’m struggling to properly articulate what Dr. Sadeghi writes about.  Because it all sounds cheesy.  And yet, to me, the book is so far from actually being cheesy I really don’t want to do it a disservice.  So I’ll use Dr. Sadeghi’s words — the book is about self love.

When I began my job a month ago, my District Sales Coordinator handed me (and everyone on our team) a book called “The Energy Bus.”  I happen to love books like that, so I was looking forward to cracking it open.  But before I had a chance, she and I talked about it.  And I heard myself talking about Dr. Sadeghi’s principles with such conviction I knew I had to go back and finish “Within.”  (**As I read both books, I am in awe of how similar many of their ideas are — just presented in slightly different ways and in different contexts.  It makes me smile.)  

I don’t know that I have always tried to evolve as I’ve grown but I think, looking back, it happened without my conscious awareness of it.  John (the hubs) always teases me that early every year I go through my “Self Help” phase.  I find a book and read it cover to cover in a matter of days and then try to apply principles and new practices to my (and John’s!) life.  I find comfort in it.  Trying to be more aware, trying to be better.  Trying to understand life & myself more.  I loved so many ideas in Dr. Sadeghi’s book (y’know, the part I read).  He talks about self love, yes, but he also talks about energy and the power of our mind & heart.

When you have an incurable disease like mine (or maybe any struggle, really) there’s a different perspective about health.  Or, to be more precise, wellness.  And more and more, I read articles about the power of positivity in the workplace, in life, in healing.  Its pretty profound.  And I can say from personal experience that where my mind is at very much affects my physical wellness.  My first neurologist handed me information on four different drug therapies when I received my MS diagnosis.  He told me to read about each one, and come back and tell him which medicine I wanted to take.  He said he didn’t like picking medicines for MS patients because he believed that if I believed in the medicine there was a greater chance of it being successful.  In retrospect, that was exceptionally powerful and has (clearly) stayed with me. And the medicine I picked did work.  It just had rough side effects. The therapy I am on now my current neurologist prescribed to me three times before I went in and had my first infusion.  And I only went in after sitting in an office with him for hours debating the pros and cons, discussing the potential health risks.  I left believing it was the best option for me and would work.  And it has.

I guess what I’m getting at, in a very fractured manner, is that I have deep faith and belief in the power of our thoughts.  Being positive and optimistic are part of the battle.  Every day. I can physically feel the difference when I am down or feeling discouraged.  I can feel it if someone near me is full of angry, negative emotions.  We are all energy.  And our energy feeds off other’s energy.  Everything is interrelated.  Its profound to me, and mind-blowing, and gives me infinite faith in life.  It helps me in  my journey every day.  To make better, smarter choices.  To eat better food.  To take care of my body.  To focus my mind on constructive, positive, enriching and nurturing things.