When I left my job last January, I didn’t really have any idea what I was going to do.  I was quite certain that I would spend February sleeping & watching junk TV (mission accomplished) but after that … it was sort of nebulous.

Last year was a good year.  I found myself again, I worked through some things.  I decided I wasn’t actually that bad of a person.  I’d just maybe spent too much time in toxic situations surrounded by toxic people.  (Let’s take a time out for a minute — I don’t think I really understood what a toxic person was until I understood myself, so that’s kinda the catch with toxic people.  They come in all shapes and sizes and their toxicity is different depending on who they are interacting with … so it can get complicated.)  But the thing is folks — anyone who makes you feel bad, who makes you doubt yourself, who is constantly stating the negative… probably toxic.

Also, being around people whose values, morals, ideas of life matched mine in a lot of ways — much healthier than being told all the time that I was doing it all wrong.

I think I’ve distracted myself with this train of thought.  So I’m going to diverge for a minute.  Just because my values and morals are different from yours doesn’t make mine right and yours wrong.  It doesn’t even classify them.  It’s just that I see life one way, and you see it another.  And both those ways could be awesome.  They could be fulfilling and exciting and full of adventure and learning and fun.  It’s just that I prefer to do things my way, and you prefer to do them your way.  If either of us start pointing fingers and belittling the other — that’s when it gets bad.  I don’t necessarily agree with a lot of things.  But it isn’t my place to tell you that YOU can’t do them.  And in turn, you shouldn’t criticize my life because I make different choices.  I’m not trying to solve the worlds problems right now. But I think this past year has given me a lot of perspective that I had lost.

Right, so my point of this post.

Next week I start a new job.  It’s a scary job and it is completely outside my comfort zone. It isn’t like anything I’ve ever done in my entire life.  I am terrified.  But I am also hoping that this new step allows me to have purpose, earn an income and do something to help other people.  Sitting at home for a year really helps you figure out your drive (or lack thereof).  It tells you what you need to feel happy and fulfilled.  And I’m hoping that going back to work and being part of society again is something I am able to handle without sacrificing everything I’ve worked so hard on this past year.