March, 2014
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story time
This past weekend, the man and I were up bright and early on Saturday morning because we had to be at the hospital for some tests by 7.30a. Meh. The sun was stretching its way across the sky as we drove in the murky early morning to the city.
As we navigated the streets very close to our destination, we found ourselves behind a car sitting at a green light, waiting to make a turn. The man gave a friendly tap on the horn just as I realized there was a red arrow. Whoops. The driver’s arms were waving and there was no way to communicate that we’d made a mistake.
Except that we followed them the entire way into the parking garage of the hospital, and we ended up in the same waiting room with them, half asleep and filling in forms for testing. The man felt it necessary to apologize, which he did to her strong retort of “It was a red arrow!” Ce la vie, right? We’d done what we thought was best. Now on with life!
Over an hour later, as I shuffled back into the “Ladies Gowning Room” (sounds swanky right? haha), the same girl greeted me. She did a little bit of a double take, and then, making the decision, turned to me.
“I wanted to apologize ~ my husband was giving me a hard time for being such a bitch. Your husband came over to apologize and I should have been more gracious ~ so, thank you and I’m sorry! You guys must not be from Philly ~ I said that to my husband after you walked away ~ no one from Philly would have apologized!”
I smiled and laughed a little, admitting that neither of us were originally from Philadelphia but we lived here now. I assumed she wasn’t from Philly, as her car had New York plates, but she said she lived right around the corner. So it was an interesting remark. She was very nice and we chatted a bit after I put on normal clothing again (nothing seems to diminish a person more than the sexy gowns and socks required for hospital testing). It was a nice way to end the whole exchange. Human beings never cease to surprise. And being nice pays off every once in a while.
where I am
Often, in the evenings when I’m curled up on the couch, i want to write something here, but I don’t. There’s no good reason other than laziness ~ the man built me a desk to work from home, so my computer is now (gasp!) across the room. And when I’m very snuggled and comfy the inclination to get up … doesn’t really exist.
As I have written before, the man and I made no elaborate New Year’s resolutions, or had any expectations for this newest year. Which, in retrospect, may have been a blessing. At least the dismal nature of these first few months of 2014 aren’t additionally disappointing in regards to any expectations.
When your back is up against the wall, when legitimately everything feels difficult… I think that’s when your true character comes through. I can’t say much for mine (first, because that would be weird, but also because I don’t think a person can speak to their own character, only others can). My husband has been nothing but a positive force throughout our woes, full of the upside, of ideas, of encouragement … full of the bright side of life. It wasn’t easy for him either, and I selfishly wallowed in my own stuff rather than being a good partner.
But I feel as though we’ve definitely been in a valley for a while, and it’s infinitely comforting to know that I have a partner in this journey who loves, understands and supports me no.matter.what. That even when life feels like a real battle, he’s in my corner, he will fall asleep holding my hand and kiss me good morning every day when our alarm begins to ring. He’s a man who supports me at work, in my creative endeavors and through my newest medical challenge. Even if things are brutal, I am more than lucky to have as my person.
That sentiment extends to my crazy family, fantastic friends and lovably quirky co-workers. Even on the toughest days ~ when our health inspection for the new restaurant is postponed again or I have new, highly inconvenient symptoms ~ I am blessed to have a core group of seriously awesome people in my life.
People who ask why I haven’t blogged since February 23rd ~ who remind me that writing is my outlet, my therapy … my honesty in black & white. So this is my step back … I can’t guarantee the next few posts will be good. But I can guarantee they will exist.