Whew.  It’s been awhile since I’ve been here.  In the time I’ve been away I have been to the doctor, done a whole course of antibiotics, gotten an official raise (with a start date!), cleaned out all my kitchen drawers (the man did the cupboards) and made a delicious gluten-free macaroni and cheese (based on my mum’s recipe which can be found “In the Kitchen”) using quinoa pasta, gluten-free flour and oatmeal for the breadcrumb crust.  Delish.

I was re-visiting some of my recent posts, and thought it might be fun to do a little progress report.

In regards to being unplugged, I’ve found a nice little balance, and while I have moments when I really miss having easy access on my phone, I’m mostly glad that I’m restricted to my iPad and having a wireless network.  Makes me focus more on being in my life, rather than sharing a perspective of my life.  The thing is, some people have a real grasp of social media, and share so intelligently … and some people just aren’t as artistic.  I fall into the gray middle area (in my own opinion … I don’t think I’m always completely lame … But I’m certainly pedantic some of the time).  Having such easy access meant that sometimes, instead of enjoying something, I was more worried about ‘sharing’ it.  And that was the ultimate lame feeling for me, personally.

So that’s that.

Interestingly enough (on the subject of a recent blog about my twenties), an old co-worker was brought in for an interview with my company on Friday.  It was actually a little disheartening in terms of how it all played out.  I realized, in how this person reacted to me and treated me, that they had little to no respect for me as a person in the work force or even a human being.  I felt as though the bad choices I’d made were staring me in the face and while it brought me relief to know I’d climbed out of that part of my life, at the same time it didn’t make me feel very proud.  But as I chewed on it over the weekend, I came to some good conclusions ~ how I’d learned and grown and how this person didn’t seem to have progressed very much from the person I knew nearly eight years ago.  And while there was and remains no need to make a judgement in regard to anyone else’s life or accomplishments, it did  help me feel proud of the journey I’ve taken, and the things I’ve achieved.  I could have stayed that person eight years ago ~ lost, insecure, unsure.  But I didn’t.  Despite having some big challenges.  I became better than that.  In re-reading my post from earlier this month, this little occurrence has only reinforced how far I’ve come.

Next up: work. Work will always be a roller-coaster.  But my company celebrated the four-year anniversary of opening our doors on January 16th.  It seems crazy to me that I’ve been on the ride since the beginning ~ not only on the ride, but a  crucial element.  As downright frustrating as it can be at times, I’m also enormously proud of what we’ve accomplished and become.  And to be right on the cusp of opening our second location ~ very fulfilling (and completely exhausting!).  As absolutely devastating as some days can be (and trust me, they are) ~ in the end it’s so incredible to be able to take such ownership of something that began as a small space on a corner and grew into a staple of the city’s casual dining scene.  It’s just cool.

I had such a fun conversation with my Mama tonight, and it reinforced that she is the most wise person I know.  I was hemming and hawing about yet another conundrum (I believe I make myself a magnet for them) and she laughed and said (and I’m paraphrasing) ~ Life is hard.  For most people.  And we just have to take the cards we are dealt and get on with it.  It doesn’t help us any to over-share or wallow in our issues.  It’s better to have just a little bit of the old British stiff upper lip.  Of course if you find yourself in a place when you need to unburden, then you have those people in whom you can confide.  But there’s no need to share every trauma.  It doesn’t help anyone.  

She’s right.  I mean, I think it’s important to be in touch with and aware of your own personal struggles ~ but her words echoed a doctor who gave me some advice about my MS.  He said his sister beat breast cancer five years earlier. And she had all the tee-shirts and water bottles and bags and did the events and fundraising.  And he finally said to her ~ you’ve been cancer-free for five years.  You are defining yourself by a disease you beat.  And I support wearing the gear for an Awareness Walk, but not to define who you are.  You had breast cancer, it didn’t have you.   He smiled at me.  “Sort of like you have MS, but it shouldn’t have you.”  

Anyway, rambles.

Today wasn’t a bad day.  It was a pretty okay day.  Busy, and tiring.  But not so bad.  And I’m grateful for that.  Til tomorrow.