My day sort of flew by ~ I have had a to-do list of office work that has lingered on my desk for a few weeks, and since my parent’s flight home from the UK was delayed 8 hours, I got to spend the whole day at the office, which I was not anticipating.  Woo-hoo!  It would be really exciting if today were Thursday … but unfortunately, there are three work days left, which dampened my spirits a little, since I probably won’t get to bed until 1am.

Yoga was pretty hard-core tonight, but class in general is pretty hard-core, so that might be misleading.  For the first time in awhile, I got stuck in my head a little bit, instead of focusing on class’s meditation, and at one point felt very light-headed (which was a bummer).  I was also reminded that I have the arm strength of a small child (when this occurs to me, I always vow to do lots of sun salutations and push-ups, to build up the strength … and then I remember that I hate doing push-ups so it becomes a circular argument in my head).

In the spirit of that inner argument, one of the things I have been meditating on for the past few days is the idea of changing habits.  Yoga’s meditation was a good one, but because I was distracted, I ended up focusing on the thought of breaking and/or changing habits.

This is not a new idea for me.  When I get frustrated with myself, I try to take a step back and remember that the only person who can change me is myself.  Knowing it and doing it are two different things.  And controlling and changing my behavior is incredibly difficult.  I think everyone knows that feelings ~ when you’re feeling really motivated and put-together and in a good place … you promise to eat more balanced meals, and get up an hour before work to jog.  You think about meal plans and balanced budgets and crafting and … well, all that stuff really together people do.

And then morning comes, and the bed is really comfy, and it’s hard to follow through on all the resolutions.  Or you get home from work, and the day was a beast, so you have a glass or two of wine, even though you really wanted to go to the gym, or even just not drink.  Sort of like last week’s thought ~ one step at a time, all put together, is progress, even if it’s hard to see.  It’s all about keeping yourself motivated, and having the will-power to focus on the end goal.

Perhaps what I should do is come up with a mantra ~ something I can whisper to myself when things feel tough.  For right now, I’m going to hop in the car and pick up the parental units.  I’m sure it’s been a long day for them, and I want to get them home safe and sound.  Enjoy the toosday, and sleep well.