Today, I managed to get on the yoga mat for the first time in months.

It felt good.  For over an hour, it was just me, my thoughts, the movement, and the sweat trickling down my face.

I’d purchased a class package last year that I thought expired in January, but thanks to a reminder email last week, I learned that my classes were still valid.  Having my new office about two blocks from the yoga studio only made tonight’s decision to go to class that much easier.

Our instructor was focusing on ‘tapas’ ~ the idea of doing something against the grain, or something outside your daily routine.  She asked us to reflect on habits, things we might not even realize we are doing … especially the ones full of negative energy.  People whose phone call, or email, make you cringe/roll your eyes/ sigh in exasperation.  “Tapas”  is the act of changing those habits, moving against the norm.

It was a fitting subject to meditate on as I pushed my body past it’s comfort level.  I’ve found myself falling into really bad, negative habits, and once the feelings start, it permeates all aspects of my life.

Example in point: an email in my in-box addresses me in (what I interpret as) a condescending tone.  I am personally affronted, and my frustration at being treated without dignity and respect invades my whole being ~ my shoulders tense, my neck cramps, my jaw aches ~ I am exhausted, and frustrated and twisted in knots of anxiety and anger.  I want to lash out ~ hurt someone as much as I’ve been hurt.  Completely unhealthy in every way.

The thing is, stress happens.  It is an inevitable part of life.  Learning how to manage and handle it is each of our own personal responsibility.  My job is stressful.  It’s a lot of balls in the air at the same time, and if any of them drop, bad things happen.  It’s fast-paced, and the work load is heavy, and things change every day, and the deadlines are short, and important.

Practicing today allowed my brain to take a break for a moment.  And afterwards, as my muscles ached, and my body felt a little wobbly, I felt as though finally, some of the tension was gone.  Class reminded me that I should be constantly and vigilantly working to focus on the good, to release the unneeded frustration and anger.

It gave me peace, centered me ~ a little like church feels on Sunday, the silence of the cathedral and the comfort of the ritual allowing my racing mind to be calmed and focused.

Making decisions against the grain included going to class today instead of going home.  It means getting up in the morning and taking Lucy for a jog instead of sleeping in. (And those are just the ‘physical activity vs. being sedentary’ examples!)  It was the perfect lesson, the perfect meditation for where my life is currently.  I love when things work out that way.  I love when I feel as though I’m working toward something … making progress toward being a better version of myself.