Today, Lucy had her lady surgery (my way of saying she got spayed, which I think sounds so ugly …).  We got up early, had a bath (Lucy was quite good in the whole scheme of things) and headed to the vet.  It’s a little bit of a drive, so we listened to “A Clash of Kings” on the way, because currently, I am completely enthralled.

When I handed her over to the extremely friendly vet staff, she was shaking so hard that I knelt down and wrapped her up in my arms, telling her over and over again that I would back soon, and she would be okay with her friends at the vet while I was gone.  Telling her that I loved her and everything was fine.

I cried a little on the drive home.  Not hysterically, but my heart was filled with worry.  For Lucy, for the man who journeyed to Nicaragua yesterday, for all the uncertainties of life which felt huge at 1oam this Friday, the 10th of February.  I called my mother-in-law, who kindly assured me that the man was fine, despite having not heard from him, and that Lucy would be fine as well.  We talked about lasagna, and pierogi casserole, and stuffed pepper recipes.  I felt better when I arrived at Starbucks to purchase my daily addiction of a soy Chai Latte (no water, extra hot).

I spent the afternoon doing numbers and data entry, and was relieved when the vet tech called to say Lucy had done very well, and was currently in recovery.  Huge. Sigh. Of. Relief.

I heard from the man, and we were able to talk for a bit.  Huge. Sigh. Of. Relief.

It put into very stark perspective for me, however, that my love for both the man and the pup plumb the depths of my heart and soul.  Their well-being, happiness, safety … all of it ranks so much higher than my own.  Wondering and worrying about either breaks my heart into a thousand tiny pieces.  Such is love, I think.  Real love is so uncontrollably self-less … so completely pure, and good and amazing.

…

On a lighter note, now the Beatles’ “Real Love” is in my head.  It will keep me smiling as I tuck the Peanut into her bed, wearing her ridiculous blue collar, and climb into my own to drift to dreamland.

Good night my friends! Sweet dreamin.’