Confession:  the peach cobbler remains elusive.

It doesn’t mean I don’t want to have it, or that I’m not excited to try to make it.  It does mean that the prospect of peeling and slicing 12 peaches when I’m getting home at 9pm most nights just doesn’t feel appealing (pun unintended, but I giggled at it anyway).

The past two nights I succeeded in making cookies and enchiladas, and I’m feeling pretty content with my efforts for October thus far.  Up next ~ learning how to cook authentic beef & broccoli (and finally making peach cobbler so there’s a dessert for after dinner!).

What I haven’t been completely happy with is my exercise routine.

It doesn’t help that I haven’t been able to fall asleep the past few nights (which means less sleep than normal) and I’ve been staying at work later to try to catch up on stuff (I actually filed paperwork today for the first time since July!!!) plus doing some cooking in the evening leaves very little time for working out.

As I pep-talked my way through getting changed into work-out gear and popping Pure Cardio into the DVD player, I began to think a lot about why I would … well, for lack of  a better word, force myself into working out tonight, when all I really wanted to do was put on sweatpants, make some TJ’s treats, and cuddle up on the couch to catch up on my DVR list.

The answer goes back aways.

The thing is, I’ve never been super good at working out consistently, or eating well consistently.  I’ve always just done whatever felt good at the time, and then done ‘exercise binges’ ~ a four month or six month stint when I get into a work-out routine  … and then something comes along and all of a sudden six months have gone by and I haven’t even lifted a finger in an active way.

I attribute part of this to working as a waitress for such a long time.  As an FYI to non-restaurant people, being on your feet, carrying trays, cleaning tables, etc etc etc, is pretty good, steady exercise.  It’s definitely an adjustment to transition into working at a desk for 10 hours a day.  But … at first, you don’t realize it.  And you don’t realize that you need to “make up” that exercise some other way.

The man and I made a pact this year that we would try to be more healthy.  We’ve lived together for over two years now, and after the first few months of settling in, and then about a year of me figuring out how to grocery shop and make food, we’re now making lifestyle changes steadily.

Working out is a big part of that.  We joined the new gym that opened across the street in July.  I’d like to say we go every day, but that would be a bold-faced lie.  We try to go to the gym at least three times a week.  We also enjoy taking long walks through the neighborhoods near our home.  Even after a bad day, or a long day …. actually, let me re-phrase that.  Especially after a long day of work, it’s almost a relief to put sneaks on, and start walking.  The man jokes that it takes him the first ten to fifteen minutes to start enjoying himself, but I completely agree.  Sometimes, I’ll be ready to go, and the first few steps down the driveway make me want to turn around.  An hour and half later, I could keep on walking!  I think it also helps a ton with our mental health.  Walking allows us to communicate without the distractions of television or the Internet.  Or phones.  It’s just me and the man and our thoughts and daydreams.

I think the other part of it is that as I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to be more aware of my body and my health.  Some examples:  I love wine (love. wine.).  I hate hate hate being hung over.  For a lot of reasons, but the top two are, I don’t like feeling that physically terrible, and it usually means you lose an entire day that you could otherwise be doing something else (something fun).

Sleeping is better when I work out.  I physically feel better; I’m not as anxious, angry, tense or stressed out when I work out.  I feel as though I’m taking care of myself.  And that’s a really great feeling.

As I did my third Shaun T. workout today, in my third cycle of ‘Insanity,’ I could feel that my body is in better shape.  The work-outs are challenging, and I’m still dripping with sweat at the end, but I’m much better at keeping up, and doing the moves correctly.  When the man and I made our pact in January (and we downloaded calorie-counting apps, and moved an old stationary bike in the living room) I thought in the back of my mind that it would be like most January resolutions.  I’d be gun-hoe about it for about six weeks, and then forget.

But I stuck with it this time.  I’m not fanatical.  I don’t beat myself up too hard if I only work out once a week (but I do try to be better the next week, and that’s really all a person can do ~ try to keep improving).  I don’t get stressed out because I ate two brownies.  At nine a.m.  Because I was hungry and didn’t feel like cooking.

I’ve realized that I’ve made a lot of progress.  I’m more active.  We eat much more balanced meals that we used to.  We’re better at preparing food for a week and having veggies every day.  We drink in moderation (and we enjoy it ~ I knew that trying to give everything up would just make me resentful.  So we did all this and kept the things we love ~ wine, vodka for the man, chai tea lattes from Starbucks for me ~ you get the point). We take walks together, and work the stress and angst out of our systems.  We don’t eat after we get full (this is a lot harder to get in the habit of doing, but once you start, you realize that you probably eat a lot more than you need to … or maybe I should change the pronoun from “you” to “I” ~ either way, same point).  It’s easier to see the progress now that I can look back over nine months and analyze everything.  It was harder sometimes to keep being disciplined in the thick of it all.

Reading other people’s blogs helped, and kept me motivated, which is a great thing.  This whole blogging thing is great ~ even if no one reads it, and it’s just me finally writing again after years of picking up a pen and paper and having no motivation to put anything down ~ that in and of itself makes it worth it.

I don’t look like I lost a lot of weight ~ but I have made steady progress.  And I’ve slimmed down.  All I can do now is keep focusing on living well: exercising, and eating right, and getting enough sleep (which you never need to twist my arm about ~ I love me some sleep!).

So tonight, when I was tired, and my neck hurt because I’d (probably) slept funny last night, and all I wanted to do was be a bum … instead, I pulled on my work-out duds (which I smartly keep in one drawer ~ a one-stop shop so I don’t lose focus half-way through!) and put the DVD in, and before I could talk myself out of it, I was jogging in place, and doing all sorts of crazy moves that Shaun T is excited about … and now- I am, too.