June, 2011
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breakin’ up is hard to do
I was on GOOP.com the other day (I love Gwyneth Paltrow because her name is Gwyneth … which makes complete sense to me) and was browsing through the abundance of articles listed under many categories. It’s a pretty interesting site, and I can waste spend a lot of work free time getting lost in all the goodness. (We can keep this between us, okay?)
One of the subjects immediately caught my eye, and I thought to myself, how relevant. Friendship Divorce. And yes, it’s as bad as it sounds.
Friendships end, that’s just how life goes, but no one really talks about it the way we all dissect and relive and interpret the break ups of romantic relationships. And when friendships end, there are a lot of unforseen consequences ~ like a ‘real’ divorce. Which friends are mine? Which friends are yours? Give me my stuff back … give me my stuff back, etc etc.
I’ve gone through a fair amount of friendship break ups ~ some where I was immediately involved, and some where I was an innocent bystander (sort of, I mean, I’m a girl after all) unsure of how to proceed in the wake of a brutal break up of mutual friends. (Can I keep you both?)
Navigating a friendship divorce is a lot like what I imagine navigating a mine field might be. Sometimes you’re really calm, super zen ~ it’s all for the best. Sometimes you’re overly analytical, completely tuned into the paranoia. Sometimes you’re too acerbic and angry ~ like water trickling over a ledge that somehow, instantly becomes a gushing fountain, totally tapped into the frustration that got it all started in the first place.
People behave badly during these break-ups. We don’t always say what we mean, or even intend to say. Sometimes we forget that not everyone agrees with how we feel. It’s a sticky, messy, far-too-sensitive thing to untangle. In a word, it sucks.
But here’s the thing. Friendship divorces don’t happen for no reason. They don’t pop up out of no where because one time, your friend didn’t pick you up from the train station, or because she couldn’t meet you out for drinks one night. They happen for the same reason romantic relationships crumble. One day, you realize that you don’t have a single positive thing to say about your ‘friend.’ You don’t really like them, and every time you interact, your body tenses with negativity. You find yourself sliding down a slippery slope of cattiness and small-mindedness. Are you really supposed to stay friends with a person who makes you feel like that? Isn’t the best thing to walk away?
There’s no need to continue to spew negativity, or think angry, narrow-minded, judgemental thoughts. Sometimes, it’s best to call it a day. And truth be told, that other person probably isn’t as bad as you see them, but you’ve lost perspective ~ you can’t see the other side any more for the mound of resentment that’s built up like a cold hard block in your chest (near that place where your heart is supposed to be).
I haven’t always been the best version of myself in the days that followed a friendship divorce. Things like that make a person a little insecure (women can be, and usually in these situations are, vicious). I let myself down recently when, instead of moving onward and upward and talking about new, exciting and thought-provoking subjects and ideas, I found myself sarcastically reliving moments from the past that didn’t need to be rehashed or even discussed. I disappointed myself.
I have a lot of good friends, and some great ones, too. And it’s disrespectful to them to pull them into a personal situation that they probably want to pretend isn’t happening. Friendships are just as difficult as relationships to nurture and maintain. And when they fall apart, they are just as ugly. It’s the angry side in all of us that dwells and fixates, and it’s a lot easier to give into the momentary satisfaction of being mean, than to rise above all that ickiness, and move on with grace and class. I think most of us muddle through with a little bit of both.
It can also be sad when a friendship ends ~ probably not at the beginning, when all the angst is still front and center, and the recent wound is open and angry. But some of those friendships that drifted apart or ended abruptly still had their good times, still had memories that can no longer be ret0ld over wine with laughter.
I think that having the strength to walk away from any relationship shows character. It’s hard to recognize sometimes that something has turned toxic. There are a lot of excuses and explanations given until one day you look in the mirror and you know it’s time. And when that happens, there’s really no going back.
my daily dates with Shaun T.
Today, Shaun T. and I had a fundamental difference of opinion. He thought the workout was fun, and I did not.
Last week was a nice reprieve from the usual daily grind of a high energy, ridiculous & fairly difficult workout. My ankles ~ which were hurting in the weirdest place ~ felt better after a few days of rest, and even thanked me by not complaining when I decided to wear shoes other than flip flops. (I have sprained, twisted … well, pretty much abused my ankles in every way possible -other than breaking!- throughout my life of playing soccer, taking an abundance of dance classes, and generally being somewhat of a clutz).
So this morning I geared up to rejoin the rat race that is ‘Insanity.’ I was well-rested, well-fed, and had enough pent-up frustration with a little thing called work to (I felt) sustain me throughout the workout.
I was wrong.
First of all, the initial 4 weeks of ‘Insanity’ are not easy. I can assure you of that. But these new workouts? I have choice words reserved for what just happened during that 60 minute DVD of craziness. And none of them are positive right now.
At one point, my legs felt like jelly and when I checked the clock, instead of only having about 15 minutes left (my usual … oh please let this be over soon check-in time during the first few weeks) there were 39. Whole. Minutes. Left. I’m speechless except to say … INSANE.
This shiz, it’s more than bananas.
I will say that last week’s Rest Workout (Core Cardio Balance) wasn’t totally easy, but it did discombobulate me a bit. When I work out, I like to either work out hard, or not work out at all (there’s very little gray area). So doing a workout that felt like 60% was challenging. Add to this that we didn’t have cheerios in the house all last week (I could have gone to Acme to buy some, but I prefer generic Cheerios from Aldis, so I was waiting to make the trip this past weekend with John cuz Aldis isn’t exactly around the corner) and the whole week felt off. At least now, all feels right again.
I began the day with my Crispy Oats. I endured an entire ‘Insanity’ work out and didn’t pass out on the living room floor only to be found hours later by John arriving home from work and confused that he hasn’t heard from me all day. (Obsess much, I ask myself?)
I have every intention of indulging in my last great vice ~ Soy Chai Latte from Starbucks ~ on my way into the city this afternoon. I think that getting beat up by Shaun T. via DVD is a totally great excuse to treat myself to a drink that has more calories than some fast food burgers.
My philosophy ~ if I start saying no to Starbucks now, at some point in the future, I’ll hole myself up with gallons of soy milk and chai concentrate, and drink it all until I make myself sick. At least it’s not cigarettes or drugs, right?
Plus, something’s gotta keep me motivated not to stand Shaun T. up tomorrow morning. I’m gonna keep these dates for another 4 weeks. And then the whole workout can go back on the shelf for awhile, until I feel motivated again in a few months. I mean, even Shaun T. needs a break every once in awhile, right?
a long held wish come true
Today, I got an idea in my head, and I just couldn’t shake it.
I was thinking about my ‘food evolution’ ~ how I got into the business, and where my food tastes come from. And some things that I love love love are mushrooms. I can usually find a way to add mushrooms to almost every dish. And I learned this from my very first restaurant job in Reading, Pennsylvania at Joe’s Bistro 614.
Joe’s Bistro 614 was owned and operated by a family whose son went to school with my brother and I, and I worked there for my junior and senior years of high school. I learned quite a lot at that restaurant ~ about mushrooms, and how they can enhance dishes with their own flavor, or add depth to a dish because of their inherent ability to soak up the flavors of other foods. I also learned a lot about the composition of a dish, and ironically enough, it was where I first had (and fell in love with!) Israeli cous cous.
I am forever grateful for learning to love the ‘shroom.
Today, I was paging through some cookbooks written by my old boss (‘Portobello’ and ‘Joe’s Book of Mushroom Cookery’ by Jack Czarnecki, among others) and decided I was ready to make a Portobello En Croute. I have thought of that dish for years (and I mean it ~ literally, I hadn’t had one since I was 16, and it used to be a complete fav). Today felt like the day to do it.
It was SOOO worth it. I’m stuffed, but good golly, it was a gustatory dream come true. (Yeah, I looked that up, because I had no idea what the name for the taste system in our body was ~ but now I do!).
What you need:
2 portobello caps (3-4 inches in diameter)
1 bag Fresh Spinach
2 cloves fresh garlic
Puff pastry (in theory, 2 pieces rolled out to 6 x 6 inch squares) ** When buying, look for butter puff pastry, and also make sure you’re buying sheets, not cups.
4 oz Roquefort cheese
1 egg (beaten)
Hoisin Sauce (but this girl used Soy Sauce with sugar dissolved in it)
What I did:
First, I preheated the oven to 425 degrees.
Then ….
1. I thawed out puff pastry (check the directions ~ the quick thaw for mine was 40 mins). I only used one sheet and put the other back in the freezer per the package’s directions.
2. Popped mushroom stems from Portobello Caps.
3. Brushed hoisin sauce in gills of mushroom cap. (Or my alternative, low sodium soy sauce with some dissolved sugar).
4. While pastry thawed, and ‘shrooms soaked up marinade, I piled spinach in a saucepan, pressed two cloves of fresh garlic in, sprinkled with water and cooked over low heat, stirring occasionally. ** The goal is to get soft, sauteed spinach to fill the caps with, so use your own discretion regarding how cooked or not cooked you prefer your spinach. I had to add another full pan of spinach once the first cooked down, so don’t be afraid to do that!
5. When pastry dough thawed, I rolled it out until approx 12 x12 in, and then cut down the middle, to create two pieces of pastry.
6. In the center of the pastry, I crumbled 2 oz Roquefort per piece.
7. Then I set the portobello caps, gill side up, on top of Roquefort, and filled the interior of the cap with spinach (I distributed evenly between both caps).
8. Next up, I wrapped the pastry around the cap, making sure to enclose completely.
9. Then I put each cap (now ‘right side up’ aka gill side down) on a greased baking sheet, and brushed the egg wash (beaten egg for the lay person) over then entire outer area.
10. I baked them for about 10 minutes ~ but you can do less if your cap is smaller. I happened to get the last two that the supermarket had, and they were colossal.
11. When the pastry was turned a very lovely golden brown, I pulled them out of the oven.
12. I served with a side salad of diced avocado, drained mandarin oranges, and a cilantro vinaigrette (made with EVOO, lemon juice and diced cilantro).
Yum yum! Even John liked it, and I could tell by his facial expressions as I made my way around the kitchen that he was a bit apprehensive.
A triumph again! Yippee!!
music to my ears
I had been looking forward to tonight for weeks. Weeks, I tell you. I saw the sign, I burned it into memory, and I was completely excited for the Ambler Symphony to play an outdoor (free!!) c0ncert at Hope Lodge (all of 2 minutes from our humble abode). And then … the edges of my dream night at the symphony began to fray.
This evening hit a couple “road bumps” along the way.
First, it was a Wednesday (which is normally WeHangsDay). Our partners-in-crime had another event they wanted to attend (historical buildings in Bryn Athyn being lit up to the sounds of recorded classical music) while I had been waiting patiently since last August and Symphony on the Prairie in Indiana for another opportunity to listen to symphony music outside. We realized we had to go our separate ways. I just wasn’t willing to give up my plans. Not after 10 months of waiting.
Second, out of nowhere, John had a business function (code for ‘Phillies tickets’). Big boo.
Third, I got a work call at 6.20pm which seriously killed my getting-ready mojo.
But, in the end … it all came together to be a perfect, indulgent me night.
So here’s the thing ~ just as I was thinking that my world was (Mary Poppins again) ‘practically perfect in every way,’ it began to implode uncontrollably. The man got a job promotion, which is going to potentially put him out of the country for the majority of the summer. My job security went from ‘decent’ to ‘precarious’ overnight (ugh, stress, yuck) and I can’t help but be constantly stressed about law school. So, please, Law School Gods, whisper sweetly into the ear of the admissions committee and tell them they were right… my personal statement and writing skills are impressive, and they totally want me to attend their school. (Sidenote, I did actually get into two schools, and I even got a scholarship to one ~ but I’m putting all eggs in another basket, so keep your fingers crossed for me!).
But at 7pm (just in time I might add) I was set up, and ready to indulge in outdoor music, some yummy food (not cooked by me, but … procured by me from one of my company’s restaurants) and a bottle of serious vino (Laeticia Estate Pinot Noir ~ 2008).
This was my view! WOO HOO!!! I got the picture in the post!!
This was my delectable meal (proscuitto, fluffy pizza bread, roasted peppers -which I have been craving something fierce ever since I saw Smitten Kitchen‘s Roasted Pepper & Mozzarella Salad-, and my current fav cheese, Kunik, which is sublime).
I also had a sexy Citronella Candle (which, theoretically, was supposed to keep the bugs away … theoretically). And “Practically a Wine Glass” from one of my closest friends (she who introduced me to ‘Symphony on the Prairie’ in Indy, where we listened to a Duke Ellington repetoire last August), which looks totally legit, but is actually plastic (and one of a set of four … I’m a spoiled little girl!)
The attendees at this fab event (including me!) were able to enjoy music selections including “Irish Suite” by Leroy Anderson, “Irish Rhapsody” by Victor Herber, “Ouverture of Raymond” by Ambrose Thomas (I’m going by the spelling in the program, so bear with me!) and “Blue Danube Waltzes” by Johann Straus II. They also included a few encores, one of which was “Stars and Stripes Forever.” All in all, despite my hesitance to go it alone, I had a great time.
PS. This picture looked better on the camera ~ I do actually smile, but apparently not in any pics today!
It was a completely worthwhile experience, and got me out of the house and socializing with total strangers (I won the award for “Best Set-Up” because, well, to be honest, I had a rockstar set up going on!).
And now, as Winnie-the-Pooh once said, “To Bed!”
walkin’ on sunshine
That’s a little misleading, as this afternoon, the heavens opened up, and it positively down-poured. However, tonight is the annual Great Chef’s Event in Philadelphia, and since the man and I were lucky enough to attend last year, I thought it was a good moment to bring attention to a great organization.
I should probably take this moment to make a little, eensy weensy, teeny tiny confession.
I work in the restaurant industry.
I know, I know – how have I spent over half my life working in the business of good food, and just now start cooking? Pretty easy answer ~ I ate at work, or spent a lot of time with the people who did the cooking at work.
So, because I work in the industry and have a pretty well-connected boss who was super generous last year, we were able to attend. And I have to say, the food was glorious. Additionally, I was pretty sure I saw Tom Colicchio from a distance, and I got a little faint. I’m a big fan. In fact, I have one of his cookbooks on my shelf, and every once in awhile I page through it, and realize that while I’m closer to being capable of cooking some of his recipes, I’m just not there yet. Trust me, when I do finally brave some delicate and intricate dish penned by Mr. Colicchio, I will let it be known!
The Great Chef’s Event benefits Alex’s Lemonade Stand, started by an inspiring and courageous little girl named Alex who lived in the Philadelphia area and was diagnosed with neuroblastoma, a type of childhood cancer, just before she turned one. After her fourth birthday (and a stem cell transplant) Alex informed her mother that upon leaving the hospital, she wanted to have a lemonade stand to raise money for “her” hospital and to help benefit other children like her.
Alex’s Lemonade Stand Foundation partners with The Vetri Foundation once a year to hold the Great Chef’s Event (begun in 2006). Major players in the hospitality and restaurant business participate, including Philadelphia heavyweights Jose Garces (Garces Restaurant Group), Steven Starr (represented this year by Executive Chef of Dandelion Robert Aiken), Michael Solomonov (Zahav), Daniel Stern (R2L) and of course, Marc Vetri (Vetri, Amis, Osteria).
Check out this link to see the picture gallery from last year (altho’ it should update to this year soon!~ http://www.alexslemonade.org/campaign/great-chefs-event/album
I have to tell you ~ it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. We got all dolled up (I even wore heels, eek!) and drove the Mini down to the Navy Yard. All the glitterati of Philadelphia were there. We wandered around, trying little bites from some of the best restaurants in the country. I wish I could remember everything we had ~ I know there was a lemon crepe dish that melted in my mouth, and we went through the sushi line twice at one stand. It was just the epitome of decadence. I have in front of me the complimentary cookbook/program from the event, and I think I’ve found my new cooking challenge ~ finding and recreating some of the dishes we were salivating over!
But here’s the part that made it so amazing and special. Liz and Jay Scott, Alex’s parents, thanked everyone for attending and spoke beautifully about their amazing daughter, who lost her battle to cancer in 2004. And then the silent auction began, and the amount of money donated (for some pretty insane items, I may add ~ like a tour of Italy with Marc Vetri as your culinary guide, or a meal for 14 cooked specially by Mario Batali …you get the drift) would have blown your mind. It did mine. And my eyes filled with tears, because the power of being in a room where all these amazing and powerful people came together to raise money for a cause ~ well, it was incredible.
So, a year later, and sitting at home rather than all done up at a fancy event, I say Cheers! again to all the chefs and restaurants who participate, and I say even more Cheers! to Alex for being so generous and determined of spirit at such a young age, when fighting such a terrible disease. And Cheers! to her parents, who have carried on her legacy, and continue to help so many children.
Now, I’m kinda in the mood for something with lemons …. Off to scour the kitchen!
go-to goodness
So … when I started this blog I was still learning my way around organizing (posts, pages, etc). This is the first recipe that I ever mastered and it’s still one of my favorites. I’ve modified it over the years to get better flavor, or to save some calories (I almost always use Greek yogurt in any recipe that calls for sour cream). Sometimes, when I’m feeling really inspired, I make my own pastry. And a lot of times I’ll buy some fun, different cheese, and grate it or just cube it myself. But I recommend either mozzarella or cheddar as a base. This isn’t a really egg-y quiche (only 2 eggs per dish), and it packs a good punch with lots of spinach. I love it as breakfast, but we also portion it up for lunch, or add it as a side dish for dinner. Very versatile ~ which is a really good thing!
Spinach & Mushroom Quiche
Here’s what I use:
1 pkg 9″ deep dish pie crusts (either in the silver tins, or roll-out dough to be used in your own pie dishes. Here’s the thing ~ when a person never cooks, such as myself for many a year ~ one learns how to make dishes while needing very little as start up).
Dough in pie dish.
Then trimmed and edged with a fork.
Simple simple!
2 bags shredded cheese (I prefer mozzarella and a cheddar mix, but go wild with your preferences … I might advise against anything with seasoning in it, but as I’ve never used shredded cheese with seasoning, it could be a miraculous discovery. Some cheeses I’ve used in the past ~ brie, feta, colby jack. All successful. But slightly more time consuming. Next up, John is voting for Smoked Gouda because it’s his new favorite cheese).
2 boxes mushrooms (either sliced, or you can do it yourself ~ I usually get a box of button, and a box of baby bellas for that extra flavor). If you don’t do mushrooms, just eliminate completely. It won’t affect the quiche at all.
2 boxes frozen shredded spinach (here’s the time-consuming part ~ thawing and squeezing it until it gets as dry as you can get it).
16 oz Greek Yogurt, plain non-fat. (If you must, you can substitute sour cream).
4 large eggs
1 large container of French Fried Onions (** hint hint, this is the secret ingredient!)
Here’s what I do:
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. (I have a little Easy Bake Oven ~ you know, those lovely small space savers. It’s not calibrated correctly, so I’ve learned over time how to adjust. In general, 375 works for the quiche. It’s my go-to temperature.)
2. Combine cheese, sliced mushrooms in large mixing bowl.
3. Beat eggs and greek yogurt together separately.
4. Add egg/yogurt mixture and spinach to cheese and mushrooms. Stir together to create a good blend.
5. Add fried onions last, and stir in completely.
6. Spoon mixture into both pie crusts ~ spread evenly.
7. Bake in oven for 45 minutes to an hour. You’ll know when it’s done by pressing the middle of the quiche. Instead of being mushy, it’ll have a little body to it.
The greatest part about this recipe is that if you have bacon, and you want to add it, go for it. Or perhaps chunks of ham? Maybe you want to do half spinach, half broccoli? It’ll work. If you don’t want two quiche? Put one pie crust in the freezer, and cut the ingredients in half. Simple simple.
a little bit of this, a little bit of that
Okay. So this is Part II of my polenta adventure. As I shared a few days ago, I have a yummy go-to winter polenta dish. But when it’s stonkingly hot outside, no one wants a sauce-heavy dish, no matter how delicious. So on Friday night, I dared myself to do two things ~ use the polenta that was taunting me from its perch in the cupboard, and do so without going to the grocery store.
Silly me, we’d eaten the rest of our fresh mozzarella Thursday night, so as I dug around in our cabinets, I started to get really worried about how the meal would turn out. Luckily, John’s a pretty laid-back audience, and after bringing me some fresh basil from the garden (we’re watering our landlord’s three-tier veggie garden for the week, and a person just can’t resist fresh herbs when they’re right there), which I figured couldn’t hurt, I set to work.
In the end, despite the, ahem, ecclectic, food choices I made, it turned out to be pretty good.
Here’s what I used:
1 pkg organic polenta
1 can stewed tomatoes
1 fresh tomato, diced
3 tbsp olive oil
garlic powder
dried basil
fresh basil
1.5 cups shrimp (tails off!) ~ make sure they’re defrosted if you use frozen
1/3 package of bacon
salt & pepper
Here’s what I did:
To start ~ I preheated the oven to 350.
1. I cut the polenta in 1/2 inch slices, and put them in a glass pyrex casserole dish.
2. In a large sauce pan, I poured the olive oil, and sprinkled the garlic powder, salt, pepper and dried basil. I put it on low heat. I added the shrimp.
3. Then, I added the can of stewed tomatoes, and turned the heat to medium-low.
4. Next, I added the fresh tomatoes, and the fresh basil leaves and put back on low heat.
5. Then, I cooked the bacon in a separate pan until a little crisp-ness began on the edges, but it was still mostly chewy. (Considering it was going to get cooked in the oven for a bit, I didn’t want to crisp it up too much and then have rock hard bacon amidst the meal).
6. I laid the bacon strips across the polenta, and then poured the tomato, basil and shrimp mixture over everything, making sure to cover all pieces of polenta.
Bacon makes everything better, right?
7. Finally, I baked it in the oven at 350 for about 20 minutes (it was bubbling when I pulled it out).
We sprinkled a little bit of parmesan on the top (I think cheese makes everything better) and it was pretty yummy. I know the shrimp/bacon combo is a little out of the ordinary in a dish like this, but I have to tell you, it works!
peter pan syndrome
So, I’ve been thinking a lot recently about what it means to be grown up. As a person in my early 30’s, I pretty much qualify as a full-fledged adult. But … what exactly does that mean? Is it about paying your bills? Having a steady job? Being able to feed yourself on a daily basis (and not at McDonalds)? Owning a home? Having kids?
Urgh. So much to contemplate …
A few months ago I was pouring blood, sweat and tears into my personal statement for law school applications. For anyone who has applied to law school, you know (and I’m sharing it with everyone else) the whole thing is re –donk -ulous in its intensity. Every little detail counts, and it has to be scrutinized and dissected as to its value and what it says about you. As a person who has always loved to write, I felt that my personal statement would be a strong component in my application ~ but I also knew that it was going to take a lot of work to make it good. Truth be told, I wasn’t in love with it when I sent it out ~ but I had worked on it for so long, and felt that I just needed to let it rest. It was like over-kneaded pastry. Sometimes, you just have to walk away.
So, how does that tie into ‘grown-up’ -hood?
It got me thinking a lot about my life thus far … where I’ve been, the choices I’ve made, and how they have affected everything else, like ripples in a pond after a stone drops. I still remember with clarity a fear I’d had has a teenager. I looked at all the people I’d once sat in class with, going off to college and then getting jobs and living real lives, and I was frozen with fear that when my turn came, I wouldn’t know what to do. I used to lay awake at night, wondering how people made that transition from kid to adult with such ease. Was there a trick I didn’t know? Did someone let you in on what to do at a certain point? What if I got missed?
I think that this deep rooted fear is probably what crippled me as a young adult. Not totally, but it was a big contributer. Now, I don’t want you to think that I didn’t have great parents. I definitely do. They both worked very hard to give my brother and I a great launching pad for our futures. We went to great schools, we played sports, we (ahem, I) got to go to theatre, dance and voice classes (oh, yeah, I used to do a lot of theatre). My grandmother lived with us, and she made home-cooked meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I mean, realistically, it was sort of idealistic. And we lived it. However … when you combine an idealistic childhood with the kind of fear I had about ‘growing up,’ and you add in the little assumption made by my parents that I understood certain, basic things that I did not (example: money management) and voila, you get me in my early 20’s.
My failings hurt even more because coming out of high school, there was a lot of potential weighing on my shoulders. Potential, in certain cases, can be a dangerous thing. It puts undue pressure where pressure is not needed, and it can cause a lot of angst as life goes on. I mean, yes, of course, it’s a compliment. Someone (or several someones) think that you’ve got what it takes to be be great. But then, if you fall flat on your face (for one reason or another) all that ‘potential’ does, is make you feel worse.
I can go back through my history, and pinpoint some places where I went really wrong. I mean, we’re talking catastrophic boo-boos. But if I hadn’t skipped down those roads with wanton abandon, would I still be here, sitting in my cozy home, finally happy and settled in life? Maybe … but, also, maybe not. Would I trade a might-have-been for this very happy known quantity? Definitely not. And I think that is the essence of being grown up.
Here’s the thing. We don’t own a home. Sometimes, that’s a bummer (like when we have guests, and they have to sleep on our living room floor, because we don’t have a spare room). But a lot of times, it’s not a bummer at all. We’re not married, and we don’t have kids. That doesn’t make our life any less fulfilling for us. And that’s a great feeling. So after all this thinking and grappling, and contemplating (I know, it even sounds exhausting!) I think I’ve figured it out.
I think being grown up is about assessing your own life, and making the best choices within it. When everything is said and done, and all the b.s. is brushed away, the truth is whether you’re happy in your own skin. I love where I live ~ not necessarily my zip code~ but the rooms that John and I occupy. I love the routine we’ve established together ~ I love the long talks we have, and I love the long silences. I love falling asleep on the sofa watching a movie and holding hands. I guess I’ve finally figured out that life isn’t a race or a competition. I don’t want to do anything because it’s expected, or what’s quote unquote, next. I don’t have a check list of what I must accomplish in order to be a grown up. I’m not saying I don’t understand the value of certain things ~ of course I do! But the most valuable thing is, to quote my brother, “Live my style.”
I’ve learned an incredible amount of lessons the long way, or the hard way, or both. It’s taken me ten years (give or take) to get my feet back underneath me, and establish a little bit of normalcy. I give John a lot of credit for that, because when we first met, he became my anchor as I was tossed about on a very stormy sea. But I’ll take a little bit of credit, too. I’ve had some wild adventures, and I’ve felt a lot of pain. And now I’m here, writing again for the first time in years, applying to law school which is a dream I never thought I’d fulfill, and living a pretty domesticated life with a great guy. It’s a little funny when one of my favorite things to do is balance the checkbook. And we can even feed ourselves with real, well-balanced meals! (Just as a safety net though, McDonalds is right down the street!).
There’s a small part of my brain that keeps humming to me as I write this, and I can’t help but laugh at the song. So for any of you out there reading this who can remember it, the theme song from “Saved by the Bell: The College Years” is stuck in my head. I’m not trying to diminish what I just wrote, but I do think that’s hysterical.
out of season, but not out of style
Last night, John and I got up at 4am, and sleepily wandered into our living room (the only room in the house to possess an A/C unit). We’d woken up, and then tried to fall back asleep in the oppressive heat of our bedroom (which, at 4am, with sweat trickling down your neck, feels fairly impossible).
Needless to say, yesterday was hot. I mean, stonking, the air-feels-thick-when-you-breath, uncomfortable heat. I’d had a whole plan for dinner, which John and I scrapped when we got home in favor of some cheese and pate with seaweed (our new favorite snack from Trader Joe’s).
Today is better, and so I think that I am going to dive right into my next culinary creation. My idea is pretty basic ~ make some sort of shrimp and sauce, and serve with polenta. Now, I’ll be honest ~ I haven’t braved making my own polenta yet. Someday I will, but that day is not today. Right now, I have organic polenta in my cupboard, and it taunts me every time I open the doors. Last fall, I was craving a dish I’d loved at a restaurant I no longer patronize. (Long, boring story). I sort of remembered what was in it, and so (in my old school style), I went to the grocery store and bought my supplies. I remember it was Monday Night Football, and the Giants were playing (normally, John and I don’t watch Monday Night Football unless either his team, the Giants, or my team, the Steelers, are playing ) so I distinctly remember this because I was in the kitchen all by myself. Which was good, because I wasn’t really sure what I was doing. I ended up muddling my way through, and the result was scrumptious. We’ve since had it a number of times. But …. it’s a little heavy for this time of year, so I’m trying to find a summer alternative.
For John, I’ll call this recipe “Monday Night Football Polenta.” (We did actually make it a couple times for football games, so it’s fitting!) And tomorrow, I’ll let you know how my new version turns out.
What I used:
1 package polenta
1 package sweet, Italian sausage (or, if you like some kick, hot Italian sausage)
2 packages portobello mushrooms
1 ball fresh mozzarella
1 jar spaghetti sauce (I’d like to pause for a moment, as I know my grandmother is rolling over in her grave at the thought of her half Italian granddaughter using store bought sauce, but as I’ve mentioned, cooking is a little new to me, and I haven’t really done the whole ‘sauce’ thing yet … stay tuned, because it’ll probably happen someday for the purposes of this blog!)
**Note on sauce: I like to get sauce that’s hearty ~ Paul Newman has a four cheese blend that’s really nice, and there’s also a portobello mushroom sauce that’s full of goodness. But it’s really about what you prefer. I made this dish once (for my annual Oscar Night dinner) and I used a much thinner sauce than normal. I was hugely disappointed with the results, but everyone else seemed to like it. Ce la vie, right?
Olive oil or vegetable oil
Garlic (again, fresh cloves used in a garlic press is best, but garlic powder or jarred minced garlic will also do the trick)
Basil
Salt & Pepper to taste
How I did it:
1. First, I covered a cookie sheet with aluminum foil. I pretty much do that all the time, because it expedites clean up.
2. Preheat oven to 375.
3. Cut mozzarella into cubes. Set aside.
4. Cut polenta into 1/2 inch slices. Lay flat on cookie sheet. Arrange with room on the sides. Put one cube of mozzarella on top of each slice of polenta. Save the rest for later.
5. Cut sausage into bite-size pieces.
6. Cut portobello caps into thick slices.
7. Cover base of large sauce pan with thin layer of olive oil/vegetable oil. Sprinkle with salt, pepper and garlic (in any form). Add sausage bites. Cook over medium to medium-high heat until then begin to brown.
8. As sausage begins to cook and brown, add potobello slices. Cook for a few minutes (portobello will begin to soften).
9. Add jar of pasta sauce. Heat through, but don’t bring to boil.
10. When sauce is fully warm, spoon mixture over polenta slices on cookie sheet. Spread remaining mozzarella cubes evenly over top of mixture. Sprinkle with basil.
11. Cook in oven for about 25-30 minutes, or until sauce begins to bubble.
12. Remove, and allow to cool momentarily. Sprinkle with some parmesan. Enjoy!
scavenger hunt
Yesterday, being Wednesday, was our weekly dinner date with friends, recently dubbed “WeHangsDay.” We alternate hosting, and it’s usually a chance for me to troll through all my new favorite blogs (I’ve hinted to John that this hobby thing he’s steered me into is becoming totally addictive) trying to find something new and interesting to cook.
I mean, we are all familiar with the food rut. Last year (and many prior to that) could be called my “pork tenderloin” phase, as it was my go-to meal for guests. Always. It’s difficult to mess up (someone else seasons it, the package has straightforward directions, etc etc) and goes with a lot of side dishes (my favorites were Israeli cous cous, quiche, and asparagus, but not all at the same time!).
I’m one of those cooks who finds the recipe first, and then makes a long list of what I need at the grocery store (because I don’t usually have an abundance of food in the fridge). I head out with determination, the post-it note clutched in my sweaty palm. Some time later I return home, laden with many bags that are filled with ingredients I needed, and some other stuff that just ‘looked good.’ Here’s where John comes in.
I’m not the best at ‘scavenger hunt’ cooking. I can’t just open up our cupboards and magically come up with a stupendous meal based on what we have. So usually, all that stuff that I brought home because it ‘looked good,’ gets made into a meal of John’s creation. He’s very good at ‘scavenger hunt’ cooking. For our first year together, that was our culinary balance. And I was constantly amazed at the meals that we could put together out of the food we already had.
Yesterday, however, we sensed a changing of the tides. Some of our neighbors (not those of the wiggly fish ~ different ones) gave us a lot of leftover short ribs that we’d shared with them for dinner on Tuesday. This lifted a huge weight from my shoulders of having to think of WeHangsDay dinner. I just had to make something to go with the falling-off-the-bone-tender ribs we were now in possession of. I immediately hopped online and went to one of my favorite sites, Iowa Girl Eats. I seemed to recall that she’d posted something I really wanted to try ~ a Black Bean, Quinoa & Citrus Salad, perfect for uber-hot days because the cooking elements totalled one.
I read through the directions. I didn’t have quinoa, but I did have Israeli cous cous. So … my salad would be a cous cous salad. John doesn’t like raw onion, so no worries that we didn’t have that. I nixed it. I clicked on Eat Live Run (apparently the origin of the salad made by Iowa Girl Eats), and her ingredients were different than the recipe I was reading. Ah ha! I could just use what I liked, put some other things in there as substitutes, and voila! Newer version of (frankly) genius salad.
My version:
1 box Israeli cous cous (plus a sliver butter & 1.5 cups water or chicken broth)
2 ears of sweet corn scraped right off the cob (no cooking necessary)
2 cups pink grapefruit segments, cut into cubes
1 can black beans, rinsed and drained
1 ripe avocado, cubed
1/2 cup dried cranberries
1 cup shelled, cooked edamame beans
Vinaigrette:
Juice of 2 limes
1/2 cup EVOO
Salt and Pepper
Minced fresh cilantro
Here’s what I did:
1. Melted a sliver of butter in a saucepan. Added cous cous and browned it a little.
2. Added 1 1/2 cups chicken broth to cous cous. Brought to boil. Dropped to low heat, put a lid on it, and let the cous cous absorb the broth (about 5 minutes). Then I took it off the heat, and put it aside to cool.
3. Meanwhile, I was combining the corn, grapefruit, black beans, dried cranberries, avocado and edamame in a mixing bowl.
4. Separately, I whisked the lime juice into the EVOO, added the cilantro and mixed a little more, and then seasoned with salt & pepper to taste.
5. The piece de resistance ~ combining cooled cous cous, all that lovely fruit and produce goodness and then pouring on the lime-cilantro vinaigrette.
It was, in my humble opinion, a success. One, it tasted good! Two, I used a lot of stuff that we had in the house (changing of the cooking tides happening!) and three, it was a huge self-confidence boost to make something I’d never made before, and have everyone like it. So, thank you to the ladies who posted this before me.
(PS. John took the leftovers to work, which is a very good sign!)
D5 Creation